I want to divorce my wife because she thinks it is dangerous for me to be around our child

A new child is stressful for any family, but a new father has revealed he is considering divorcing his wife because of the way she behaves after giving birth.

Taking to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole subreddit, the unnamed 33-year-old man explained that his wife, 31, constantly complained about how clumsy he was — which turned from a joke into possible grounds for divorce.

“I accidentally drop things when my hand unconsciously hits them and so I agree with her,” he says wrote in the Reddit post.

“But it’s not so bad that I change things every day.”

He went on to say that he always “laughed” about it when his wife brought it up before, but during her pregnancy she often started saying that she wouldn’t let him hold their baby because he was so clumsy.

“Again, sometimes I would laugh it off and sometimes, if I took it seriously, I would tell her there is a difference between knocking over the TV remote and having a child fall out of your arms,” he said.

‘Still, I haven’t thought about it much. But then my child was born and I was shocked at how reluctant she was to even let me hold the baby in the hospital.”

The man said he noticed his wife panicking when he was even near their daughter, and this caused a lot of arguments that continued to this day.

“It’s been a few months and I haven’t been able to hold my baby more than three times, including once when I held her in the hospital,” he lamented.

He said his wife now slept with their child in another bedroom, and he was not even allowed to hold her when he was sitting.

“She hardly ever leaves our daughter alone with me,” he said desperately. ‘I suggested I use a baby carrier to take her on walks, but she refuses that too, often suggesting I keel over and fall face first.’

The new father said he thought his wife was overreacting, and he suggested they go to therapy together. However, she told him that ‘talking doesn’t solve anything’ [his] body.’

Reddit users encouraged the man to seek medical help for his wife, with many suggesting she could be suffering from postpartum depression

“She keeps telling me that I will be the reason our child would die if I ever hold her and that as a father I need to realize how dangerous it is and obey her,” he wrote.

‘All this has really affected me and I have become much more self-aware. Every time I mess something up, she tells me this is proof that what she’s saying is right.”

The man said he was usually a calm person and had tried to talk to his wife many times, but he didn’t know what to do.

“I love my wife and my child more than myself, but I can’t continue with this as I can’t even hold my own child, play with her, walk with her, etc.,” he said.

Angry at the situation he finds himself in, the upset father said that after a recent argument, he snuck into his daughter’s bedroom while his wife was sleeping, causing a huge argument.

“I went to see my daughter, I didn’t hold her, I just held her hand and looked at her,” he said, adding that he was “emotional” and whispered a few things to her – which woke up his wife.

“She screamed at first and then told me to leave the room immediately,” the father recalled. “I told her I wasn’t going to hold her and that I was just there to see her and hold her hand.

‘She didn’t believe me and accused me of being ignorant and selfish. I also lost my patience and took out this entire two months of frustration on her.”

The father was remorseful about his behavior and admitted he felt ‘terrible’ about his behavior that night, and was now staying in a hotel because she told him to leave the next morning.

“I wasn’t in the mood to argue either, so I left quietly,” he wrote. ‘I can’t seem to process what happened. And even though it hurts so much, I think I’m going to part ways.’

There were many comments on the post, many of whom expressed concern for his wife’s mental health.

“Your wife is showing some disturbing signs of postpartum anxiety,” one user commented.

‘I would call your health visitor/midwife/doctor and raise your concerns before the anxiety manifests itself in more damaging ways. Although preventing a father from bonding with and caring for his child is already harmful.”

Another chimed in about their own postpartum experience, saying divorce could further alienate her.

“Divorce or separation will only further alienate you from your newborn baby, and your wife’s anxiety could evolve in dangerous directions without you being able to intervene,” they said.

“I would strongly encourage you to work things out with your wife and return to this marital dispute when your wife is feeling better.”

“Agreed, your wife needs to see a mental health professional,” someone else wrote.

“Heart goes out to you OP, that’s cruel. I’m clumsy too, but I’m a ninja with my 7-month-old son. Fatherhood gives your father strength and lightning-fast reflexes.’