Joe’s older than a Paleozoic worm fossil, sharp as a marshmallow – and voters know it! So how IS he going to fight for four more years? With extra servings of her acid wit, KENNEDY reveals an ingenious plan…

Quick: Someone give Secretary of State Antony Blinken an inflated rubber ring to sit on.

After watching him grin as President Joe Biden blundered his way through an APEC press conference, I’m convinced Tony has a hemorrhoid the size of Vesuvius.

Or could it be that he knows that every time old Joe opens his mouth, it’s a huge honking disaster?

‘Mr. President… would you still call President Xi a dictator?” a reporter asked the president Wednesday evening.

A camera showed Blinken sitting in the front row of the audience. You can literally see him girding his loins for Biden’s response.

“Look, that’s him,” Joe blurted. “He is a dictator in the sense that he is a man who runs a country that is a communist country and is based on a form of government that is completely different from ours.”

Oh! You were so close, Tony.

You almost pulled the thread and engineered a carefully choreographed international summit with a genocidal communist autocrat. But alas, Biden’s loose lips sank the ship of state again.

Is it really any wonder that even White House aides have concluded that Joe is unfit to order takeout, let alone campaign for president?

Because that is the reporting of veteran journalist, establishment journalist and DC couch nibbler Jonathan Martin.

“Biden will not be able to govern and campaign in the manner of previous incumbents,” Martin wrote for Politico.

And here’s the kicker: “(Biden) simply doesn’t have the capacity to do it, and his staff doesn’t trust him to even try, as they make clear by blocking him from the press.”

His ‘staff’ ‘doesn’t trust him’?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

These days, it’s hard for the president to get through a single public appearance without an apparent senior moment.

As world leaders posed for a photo-op on Thursday evening, Joe turned around, appeared confused and then awkwardly shook hands with the president of Indonesia, who looked as bewildered as everyone else.

Yes, Biden is as sharp as a marshmallow and the voters know it.

How bad is it?

Martin points to two new polls showing President Prune Face being defeated by President Cheetoh Face in key battleground states in 2024.

Yet Biden’s lackeys, flacks and embalmers publicly claim this is no cause for alarm: We’re a year away from the election, you stupid geese!

Sure, but the president is older than a fossil worm from the Paleozoic era, and until a team of anti-aging scientists figure out how to reverse the decline, he won’t be improving the stump anytime soon.

Just look at recent alarming blunders, such as this Veterans Day, when he pulled a card from his pocket listing the 7,036 soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The problem was that it was Veterans Day and not Memorial Day. And the heroes he pays tribute to are alive and well.

Biden’s biggest political liability is one he simply cannot solve: his age.

He will be 81 years old on Monday, December 20. He will be 82, just after the Americans vote next year.

If the White House isn’t confident now that he can handle the rigors of a campaign, what condition will he be in?

Moreover, the world is currently imploding on several fronts and Biden’s incompetence may only make people more nervous about the prospect of their military heroes being sucked into conflicts from Gaza to Taiwan.

What will the Democrats do?

There are proposals to lure Bill and Hillary Clinton away from their womanizing and self-pity respectively, to help carry the burden and lead us all down the road to peace in the Middle East.

Yes correct. Me Too and Me Never as close to a hot war as Chris Christie is to a hot plate at a $5 Golden Corral all-you-eat buffet.

There are suggestions that Biden could pit himself against Joe Manchin, Mitt Romney and Liz Cheney for a weird inter-party tickle fest.

As Politico’s Jonathan Martin writes, Biden “must smother Manchin with kindness and keep him in the Democratic tent.”

Bad idea!

We saw what happens when Grandpa Munster suffocates women and children during the campaign.

Well, I have a plan.

When a busy incumbent president campaigns for re-election from the comfort of the White House, it’s called a “Rose Garden campaign.”

I’m coining a new term for Biden: “The Nursing Home Campaign.”

It will be great.

With peaches and canned jello in Lincoln’s bedroom, the president can hold raucous campaign rallies via Zoom.

He will debate Donald Trump via text message. Although they should probably recruit granddaughter Naomi to operate that newfangled device they call an iPhone.

And instead of Joe walking the rope, shaking hands and kissing babies, they bring the rope to him. Just dangle his arm outside the Oval Office window and ask his admirers to get in line.

Could it work? Unfortunately not.

It is not the messenger or the message.

We’ve all lived through the drama and the impeachment, the pandemic and its aftermath, and guess what?

Finances are still bad for most people, and the world is coming apart at the seams.

It’s not a lack of opposition research or negative news stories about Trump that are fueling the nation’s distaste for this deteriorating loser.

It’s our inability to buy groceries, the fear of losing world wars and the reality of cities being swallowed up by criminal vagabonds that make Americans yearn for a man, no matter how damaged, who seems to enjoy playing for the Forgotten Man to fight.

Another four years of The Forgetting Man is a bit too much to bear.

People are way too steeped in this Cuppa Joe.

So be my guest.

Go for a full ‘Weekend at the Bidens’ and strap Joe to Jason Momoa’s back and drop them off at the Democratic Convention. It won’t make any difference.

Americans will not be fooled by a juvenile list of idiotic solutions.

Biden’s presidency has plateaued.