My boyfriend says he’s not in love with me even though I look after his children, people say he’s just using me for childcare

A woman has revealed how her boyfriend of four months admitted he isn’t in love with her yet despite already introducing her to his children.

The anonymous woman took to the British parenting platform Mothernet to ask if others think he might only be using her ‘for support’ after his divorce.

She explained that she was afraid he would take advantage of her friendly nature and feel “used.”

Her message read: ‘Me and my boyfriend, both 40, have known each other since February and have been a couple since about May/June.

“He introduced me to his children and he met mine. We spend five days a week together and he lets me spend entire weekends with him and his kids. He asked me a few times to babysit his daughter.

‘I asked him if he loves me and he said I’m not there yet but I’m heading that way. I feel upset and quite used. Do I stop or hope he changes his mind. He used my support in his divorce and in finding a job.’

Many rushed to the comments with their own opinions, while some said they should leave him, while others said it’s too early to be in love.

One person said: ‘Jesus, I’d be really put off by his reaction! Does he see himself as a great prize that you have to work to achieve? You must be worth more than these crumbs from his table. I would say goodbye here.’

Another said: ‘Nooooo, that stingy, manipulative answer tells you everything you need to know about this guy.

“He will hold things over your head/hold things back to maintain power for your entire relationship if you stay.

‘It’s not hard to love someone ffs. It’s not a prize to hold onto that someone else has to jump through hoops for. To hell with him.’

Someone else wrote: ‘He’s been dating since February and should know if he loves you. True love doesn’t take nine months to figure out. You know pretty quickly when you make things romantic with someone. Get rid of him.’

Another agreed, saying, “He wanted to rush the things that made his life easier. Easy divorce, babysitting, company.

She took to British parenting platform Mumsnet to ask if others think he might just be using her ‘for support’ after his divorce

Many rushed to the comments with their own opinions, with some saying they should leave him, while others urged her to ‘step back’ from the relationship as they feared he might be using her.

“He had a woman-shaped hole in his life and he filled it with you. Dump and run.”

While others urged her to ‘step back’ from the relationship because they feared he would use her.

One person said: ‘Time to take a big step back. Suppose I like to go on dates and hang out as a couple.

“I don’t think we’re ready for more and you should spend your time with your children without a new person involved. Because he’s using you.’

Another said: ‘It sounds like this is the time to put yourself first and protect yourself a little – just say you’re busy this weekend. His response will be telling: if his response is more about who will take care of the children than about not seeing them, then that will tell you a lot.

“Either way, stick to your guns and have that weekend to yourself – it’s a healthy thing to do anyway.”

Someone else wrote: ‘You really don’t seem that happy, I would stop doing things for him. See how he reacts. You’re better off without him, he’s a user.’

While others said they were too early in the relationship to talk about love.

One person said: ‘I don’t know, I don’t really see anything wrong with what he said. He’s honest and you haven’t been together that long. I think it’s a positive answer.’

While others said they were too early in the relationship to talk about love.

Another said: ‘Maybe a controversial opinion, but maybe he didn’t say that because he’s a master manipulator, but because he really isn’t, and it’s the truth?

‘I once gave a similar answer. We had been dating for a few weeks, maybe a month or two on the outside.

‘I knew I wanted her pants. I knew I really enjoyed her company. I definitely knew I wanted to be with her, spend more time with her, get to know her better and see how things developed.

‘I was in love with her. Now, twenty years later, I’m sure I love her now, but at the time it was too early to say.

“Take his words seriously and assume for a moment that he means he’s falling in love with you, but he’s not quite there yet. Are you going to end the relationship because you would rather have heard a lie?’