Take heed, chaps – the best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling, former editor of the Erotic Review
- A new study suggests that the louder the scream of ecstasy, the greater the chance of counterfeiting
I have long been haunted by the memory of a stay in the Latin Quarter of Paris, where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room who screamed so loudly that I wondered whether I should offer to perform an exorcism. feed.
When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delightful French word for catering) to the receptionist the next morning, she rolled her eyes and declared the woman an ‘actress’, or sex worker.
According to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and all men fear: the louder the cry of ecstasy, the more likely the orgasm is to be simulated. In other words, you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: there is sex as performance art and sex as real intimacy. And when a woman is truly turned on, trusts her partner and isn’t afraid of a fragile male ego, she’s much more likely to sigh and moan softly than scream like the rabid supervixen in my Parisian hotel.
In my days editing Erotic Review magazine, female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. Usually this happened occasionally, they explained, so that they could make their partner feel happy while saving their energy for other tasks. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They explained that erotic decibels were all about manners and “manipulation,” and that women were prone to what they called “copulatory vocalization” to get their partners over the finish line, so to speak.
A new study confirms that the louder the scream of ecstasy, the more likely it is to mimic the orgasm.
It was like saying, “I’m enjoying this, but can you go further?” Sound familiar, ladies?
The only other reason to scream like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, where loud always equals better.
As a Sunderland woman said in 2014 after neighbors complained her sexual whimpering was drowning out their TVs: “As far as I’m concerned, that’s what you should do.”
Well, only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.
In their book, Sex At Dawn, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha concluded that the most likely reason why women were noisy during sex – based on observations of our closest primate cousins – was to warn nearby men that they were fertile and wanted to mate.
If you are a sex worker, I understand the need to advertise. But if not, men should pay attention: the best sex may be the quietest.