Tinder Swindler victim reveals the red flags to look out for to avoid falling victim of a romance scam

By James On Oct 9, 2023

One of the victims of the infamous Tinder Swindler has revealed the red flags to look out for to avoid love scams.

Ayleen Koeleman, was one of many women who were fooled into thinking Shimon Heyada Hayut, from Israel, was the boy from a billionaire diamond dealer after meeting him on the dating app Tinder.

The convicted criminal would use the money he obtained from other victims to impress single women with an expensive lifestyle and lavish gifts – he is believed to have defrauded women out of around £7.4m in total.

Ayleen, who starred in the Netflix documentary Tinder Swindler, revealed that one of the biggest red flags is ‘love bombing’ – a term that refers to showering someone with praise as a means of control.

‘I was an intelligent, internet-savvy young woman – and yet I was still badly misled. After all, victims believe they are sending money to a loved one for a genuine reason, so they may not act differently to how they would conduct any other transaction.

Ayleen Koeleman, was one of many women who were fooled into thinking Shimon Heyada Hayut, from Israel, was the son of a billionaire diamond merchant after meeting him on the dating app Tinder.

‘While it felt real then, I can see the holes. New partners are not like that, even if they love you,’ she told the Telegraph.

She added that signs that things might be too good to be true, and that you should cut off contact, could include declaring their love for you, bombarding you with gifts immediately.

She added that they might ‘claim to be from your town’ but never want to meet in person or plan visits – only to cancel at the last minute.

While dating apps have cracked down on fake profiles and tightened security, Ayleen said it’s very easy for people to create a fake profile.

She added “take your time” when someone asks to borrow money.

‘Once under the spell, cheaters make you think irrationally. So if this new person in your life asks for money, take a step back and say you’ll think about it for a few weeks.

‘If they keep pushing, then walk away and say no. If they are a genuine friend or partner, they will happily afford you this time because they will know that this is an important decision and commitment that you have to make,’ she added.

However, Ayleen got the last laugh after teaming up with fellow victims Cecilie Fjellhøy and Pernilla Sjoholm to get their money back via GoFundMe.

Shimon (pictured) has deleted his Instagram and is no longer on Tinder, following backlash from the Netflix documentary

Cecilie Fjellhøy (pictured, with Shimon Heyada Hayut) teamed up with Ayleen Koeleman and Pernilla Sjoholm, who appeared in Netflix’s The Tinder Swindler, to launch a fundraiser

Shimon, known to use pseudonyms, conned Cecilie, Ayleen and Pernilla by claiming he needed to borrow money because using his own funds could lead to his enemies tracking him down.

It is unclear how many other people fell for the scam, but it is estimated that he defrauded his victims out of £7.4m.

After receiving messages of support following the hit Netflix documentary, Cecilie, Ayleen and Pernilla set up a GoFundMe page hoping to raise £600,000.

Cecilie Fjellhoy was a 29-year-old Norwegian graduate student living in London when Shimon conned her out of more than £200,000.

She believed she had finally met her Prince Charming when she matched with ‘Simon Leviev’ on Tinder in 2019.

He claimed to be a billionaire playboy and even took her on a trip on his private jet during their first date.

Shimon has never been charged with defrauding Cecilie, Ayleen or Pernilla, but was jailed in Israel in 2019 for using a fake passport.

He was released on good behavior after five months.

The serial cheater, who is no longer on Tinder, had 200,000 Instagram followers before he decided to close his account following backlash from the Netflix documentary.

Shimon’s last message read: ‘Thank you for all your support. I will share my side of the story in the next few days when I have sorted out the best and most respectful way to tell it, both to the parties involved and myself. Please keep an open mind and heart until then.’

I’m a relationship expert and these three dating app red flags will keep you from getting scammed

A relationship expert has revealed the three red flags to look out for on dating apps to avoid falling victim to romance scams.

Paul Carrick Brunson, who co-hosts Married at First Sight UK and Celebs Go Dating, appeared on Lorraine this morning to help singles navigate the online dating world.

“I’m very concerned about this,” he said. ‘You have millions of people here in the UK and around the world being targeted by online scammers.’

Describing how easy it is to fall for a scam, Paul highlighted how perpetrators often do everything they can about their would-be victims ‘for months and months and months’.

After diving into their social media feeds, the expert said the team of scammers would then “devise a script” to con people out of money.

Paul continued: ‘The average person loses between £10,000 – £15,000 to each of these scams.

‘They gain your trust and what they really try to focus on are people who are going through some kind of emotional turmoil.’

He said scammers can specifically look out for people who are widowed or have lost someone special in their life.

“They’ll typically reach out to you on a dating app and they’ll try to lure you in,” Paul added.

He said there are three important ‘red flags’ to have on your radar if things are progressing with someone you’re chatting with online.

THEY ARE TRYING TO MOVE YOU OFF THE DATING APP QUICKLY

Another red flag to be aware of is someone who seems very eager to take the conversation off the dating app.

Paul advised that this is ‘because many dating apps today have security structures’ – so getting you to a place with less protection is a priority for the scammer.

Relationship expert Paul Carrick Brunson has warned about the red flags to watch out for when using dating apps. Stock image used

“They try to move you to email or move you to a phone call,” he explained.

Not only does it take you into a less regulated environment, but it feels like a step towards intimacy.

YOU NEVER SEE THEM

It should come as no surprise that scammers prefer to keep themselves hidden behind a screen.

So, if the person you’re chatting with is hesitant to meet in person, alarm bells should go off in your head.

Paul emphasized that this is a big warning sign to be on the lookout for – after all, how can they love you if they ‘never want to meet you’?

Paul Carrick Brunson said an increasing number of people are losing thousands to scams across the UK

THEY CONFESS HOW MUCH THEY LOVE YOU…EVEN IF THEY’VE NEVER MET YOU

Paul said to be wary of anyone who comes on a little too strong after just chatting online or on the phone – as this is a tried and true scammer tactic.

‘What they try to do is they try to lure you deeper and they hit you with “well…I need some money”.

‘And there’s always a request for money, but it just doesn’t come as “I need money”, it’s “my son and I are traveling and I’ve lost my credit card”.

“They’re trying to pull those emotional strings…”

The relationship expert also urged everyone, regardless of context, not to send money to a stranger.

He added: ‘Anytime you’re asked for money … that’s a big red flag. Never ever give money to someone you have never met. Every time someone asks you for money…just say no.’