Is this the worst date EVER? ‘He had his hand in his pants while we ate dinner’
Six single Australians have shared their dating horror stories – from a man who ‘played with himself’ over dinner to one who shamelessly flirted with another woman.
The singletons from Sydney shared their stories with No swipeswhere events are organized for single Australians to meet in person and avoid dating apps where possible.
Jack made a woman throw up on him after too many cocktails, while Bianca had to leave quickly after her date spent the night with his hands down his pants. Sarah said a man showed her a wildly inappropriate video.
The company’s founder, Amy, said she’s heard some “incredible” dating disasters from her clients – and has had many of her own.
“These stories, while hilarious, in retrospect in most cases paint a picture of the challenges and quirks of the online dating world,” she said.
Six single Aussies shared their dating disasters, from a man who ‘played with himself all night’ to a man who flirted with another woman
Amy, 41
Amy was on a ‘horrific’ date at a tapas restaurant one night when the man started flirting with another woman.
“The restaurant was full so the only place they could let us sit was in a reception area that we shared with another couple – pretty much the same table,” she said.
No Swipes founder Amy (pictured) had a date with a man who flirted and exchanged numbers with a woman they were sitting next to at the restaurant
‘Because I am a social person and open to talking to everyone, I thought it would be fun.’
They ordered bottles of wine, but halfway through the first, Amy noticed that the other couple’s wife started “scandalously flirting” with her date.
“He was quite high up in the music industry and she was an artist,” she said.
“She complimented everything my date said. She might as well have sat on his lap all night and when I went to the toilet I saw her giving him her number.’
As the couples parted ways, Amy hugged the woman goodbye as she mouthed “call me” to her date over her shoulder.
“We went away and he bought two bottles of wine from a bottle shop, which he said he went home to drink alone and admitted he was an alcoholic,” she said.
“Kill me now.”
Sara, 38
Sarah’s date started off pretty well when she met a man at a bar in Bondi Junction.
‘We ordered a bottle of rosé and there turned out to be two. “The conversation flowed, although every now and then he would literally jump up from his seat mid-sentence and go to the bathroom,” she said.
‘Was my story that boring? Maybe he has IBS, poor boy, that must be it, right?’ she thought.
After the second bottle, Sarah said the man’s speech started to become slurred and he decided he needed to show her a video on his phone.
“He keeps scrolling through his phone for an unreasonable amount of time – give it up buddy,” she said.
‘Did I mention he scrolls through guys’ WhatsApp chat and all he scrolls past are naked women and crude images? Gross, total discount.’
He finally finds the video of his friend with a hand in his rectum.
‘We all know what it’s called, but I won’t say it. In what universe is this kind of behavior acceptable on a first date, let alone ever?’ Sarah said.
After Sarah saw the video, she started planning her quickest exit strategy and left.
“I got a text the next day apologizing for his behavior,” she said.
‘It turned out he had been out since lunch and he had to go to the toilet and do naughty things. I didn’t want date number two, as you can imagine.’
Sofie, 35
One of Sophie’s worst dates was with a man who woke up clearly drunk from the night before.
“He was wearing a crumpled shirt at noon on a Saturday and was oozing with booze,” Sophie said.
‘He kept looking over my shoulder at the cricket and then started the conversation by saying: ‘Do you like m****t porn?’.’
Bianca, 34
Bianca met a man online who she thought was a ‘really great guy’ and they arranged a date at a pizzeria.
‘We sat next to each other and chatted, ordered drinks and food. “He would reach into his pants between meals while talking to me,” she said.
‘I was honestly ashamed. I didn’t know how to react, so I just froze. He continued this behavior.”
In an attempt to get away early, Bianca made an excuse to leave and the man stopped ‘playing with himself’ as they got up from the table.
“I then said, ‘Thank you for tonight,’ being the polite person that I am, and then I tried to run away as fast as I could,” she said.
‘He went to hug me and I stopped him and said, ‘Sorry I’m leaving!’. Watch out ladies, there are some creeps around.”
Bianca (pictured) met a man who she thought was a ‘really great guy’ but was shocked when he spent their date with his hands down his pants
Kate, 33
‘I was in Surry Hills on a first date, which was okay, but my date was wasted! Like it’s really wasted. I was so disappointed I had to leave,” Kate said.
‘The next morning I wake up to a text from him: how dare I leave him, he remembers nothing and that the police found him and that he spent a night in a cell. Husband-to-be, I don’t think so.’
Jac, 33
Jack is a serial dater who joked that he “completed Tinder” so he has some funny dating stories.
“There’s one story I always tell,” he said.
Jack had been to a few bars on a date with a girl and they had indulged in a ‘reasonable few’ cocktails, so they went out for a late night Chinese meal.
“We were halfway through some kind of egg fried rice or something when my date’s face suddenly contorted and she said, ‘I’m going to be sick,'” he said.
“That’s when she puked all over herself and onto the table in front of me.”
Jack tried to be polite and told his date not to worry and “these things happen.”
“About five minutes later she did it again. Safe to say I didn’t call her back for date number two,” he said.