I moved to Australia from New Zealand and even though everyone is ‘friendly’ it’s almost impossible to make friends here: ‘It’s sad’
A woman has expressed her frustration at not being able to build lasting relationships after moving to Australia – and she’s not alone.
The New Zealander moved to Mandurah, Western Australia, with her fiancé.
She claimed that despite her “extremely hard” attempts to make friends and connect with people, she only receives superficial politeness unless she is willing to consume alcohol and go to the pub.
“I moved to Australia from another country, and the culture where I come from is interconnected and there’s a lot of acceptance to be openly emotional and talk about difficult topics – but it’s not the same here,” she said.
‘Everyone is friendly and polite – they’ll ask you how you’re doing, but the deep connection they want to have with you only goes so far.’
The expat explains it in a video.
“You can make friends and see them every other week, but unless alcohol is involved, you won’t have deep and meaningful conversations.”
‘That’s my experience being here. I think it’s quite shocking because I come from a culture where everyone is open and sharing, and there’s a lot more community.
‘But everyone is individualistic in Australia. If I want to see friends, I have to book it in advance because I have friends, but lives are not intertwined.’
She didn’t want to accuse all Australians of being ‘closed off’, but personally she doesn’t have much experience with people who are comfortable being vulnerable.
‘It’s very sad. Should I just work on how I handle the situation?’ she asked.
A lonely woman has expressed her sadness and frustration at not being able to make lasting connections after moving to Australia – and she’s not alone
But thousands of Australians and expats agreed with her.
“I was born in Australia and I completely understand,” she said. ‘I find it very difficult to make contact with people.’
“I’ve been here four years and I recognize you 100 percent,” one man said. “All friendships feel vague and empty.”
“New Zealand is the same,” wrote another. “I’m Brazilian and I’ve lived here for almost ten years, but I feel like I only have deeper connections with other immigrants.”
One woman said: ‘I’ve lived in Australia all my life and wanted to leave so often for this reason – the energy is locked up, especially in the cities.’
“I moved to Brisbane from Germany about four years ago and I can’t seem to find the same deep friendship here,” one man revealed.