EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Ex-royal butler Paul Burrell rages at Disney plans to air taped Princess Diana conversation

Ubiquitous ex-royal butler Paul Burrell is furious at Disney’s forthcoming broadcast of Princess Diana’s 1991 taped conversations with friend Dr. James Colthurst.

“I’m very upset,” he meows. “These tapes were originally made not to be published.” Burrell kept copies of the tapes in his attic in Cheshire, which were made during a police raid in 2001 (he was later acquitted of stealing the princess’s belongings).

“Diana gave them to me for safekeeping,” he insists. “I told the queen what I had in custody. They left my presence, my home, and now we see what happens when things are not kept safe.”

As the late filmmaker Michael Winner advised, “Calm down, honey!”

With over 100 schools and other buildings deemed unsafe, what about the modernist National Theater?

The concrete architecture was attacked by the then Prince of Wales, now King, because it resembled a nuclear power station.

If the theater had to be torn down for security reasons, would Charles dance a private dance at Buckingham Palace?

A prized possession of the late Freddie Mercury that did not come up for auction at Sotheby’s auction was his collection of rare koi carp.

The Queen frontman loved the 89 fish, costing around £10,000 each, which were kept in a specially designed pond at his home in Kensington, where he died of AIDS in 1991.

Eleven years later, a gardener cleaning the pond accidentally deprived the fish of oxygen and they went with Freddie to the great celestial arena in the sky.

A prized possession of the late Freddie Mercury (pictured) that did not come up for auction at Sotheby’s was his collection of rare koi carp.

Michael Cockerell, introducing his BBC Four political documentary series – which begins Monday with a profile of Ted Heath – remembers crusty Tory backbencher Sir Tufton Beamish approaching concert pianist Dame Moura Lympany.

“Ted needs a wife,” he declared. “Why don’t you marry him?” She replied, “I am honored. But I love someone else.’

Clive Myrie, feverishly promoting his memoir Everything Is Everything, pays tribute to his wife Catherine, who followed him around the world on his BBC assignments, including to Washington.

While swimming in the pool of the Ritz-Carlton hotel in the US capital, she mistook Barack Obama for Clive. Specsavers, Mrs. Myrie!

Evergreen Lady Antonia Fraser recalls winning a bet with the Duke of Devonshire that she could dance with then US Vice President Lyndon Johnson at a Jamaican independence party.

Johnson spoke to Antonia, on the condition that she remain silent. “After a while I gasped: ‘I think Mrs. Lady Bird Johnson looks great tonight,’ she tells The Spectator.

“The vice president looked at me in disgust, “Yeah, right?” he replied, dropping his arms and striding off the floor.’

Recalling Keith Richards’ appearance on his US chat show, Jimmy Fallon – in London to help launch The Rolling Stones’ new album – said the guitarist was reprimanded by a fire chief for smoking backstage.

“You can’t smoke,” the official said. “I know, it’s bad for my health,” Richards replied.