Emotional Dame Kelly Holmes reveals she went mute and ‘felt numb with grief’ after her mother Pam died
The emotional Dame Kelly Holmes reveals that she became mute and “numb with grief” after her mother Pam died
Dame Kelly Holmes has revealed how she was mute for three weeks after her mother Pam Norman died.
The Olympian, 53, was devastated when her mother passed away in 2017 from myeloma, a blood cancer.
In Loose Women on Thursday, Kelly gave insight into her overwhelming grief in the weeks following her mother’s death and how this manifested itself in physical symptoms.
Kelly told the panel, “I found the years of ‘first’ without her extremely difficult. When I knew the anniversary was coming, I was terrified because I was suffering so much from the grief. I was numb at every stage.
“When I saw August 7 on a calendar, I knew how much of an effect it had on me that day, and I still had that element of sadness in me.
Heartbroken: Dame Kelly Holmes has revealed how she was mute for three weeks after her mother Pam Norman died
Grief: The Olympian, 53, was devastated when her mother passed away in 2017 from myeloma, a form of blood cancer (pictured in 2005 at Buckingham Palace with her mother)
“I was mute for about three weeks after she died. I didn’t get over that whole intense period. I thought the same fear would happen to me on that date.”
Dame Kelly, who won gold in the 800 and 1500 meters at the 2004 Athens Olympics, said she was very close to her mother, who had raised her on a council estate in Kent, and that it was a long time before she accepted that she was gone.
The athlete’s father, an auto mechanic, ran away when she was just one year old, leaving a young Pam to raise her alone.
The sportswoman spent time in care as a young child after worrying that her mother, who gave birth to her at the age of 17, couldn’t handle raising a baby on her own.
While Kelly spent periods in care, her mother always came back to pick her up, later marrying painter and decorator Mick Holmes when Kelly was four, whom she considers her father.
Dame Kelly previously said of her mother’s death: ‘It was the worst day of my life. She was only 17 years older than me so we were very close.
“It was terrible, I suffered from grief for a long time. It took a lot of time and talking to people to make sure my friends knew I needed them.
“Every day I long to be able to tell my mother what I’ve done. We talked every day.’
Achievement: Kelly won gold in the 800m and 1500m at the 2004 Athens Olympics
Star guest: Elsewhere in the show, Kelly and the rest of the panel spoke with Strictly’s professional dancer Johannes Radebe
Impressive: Johannes and Kelly later showed their dance steps on stilettos
Amazed: Kaye Adams couldn’t believe it when she saw Kelly showing off her stuff
Although she had a close relationship with her mother, Dame Kelly previously admitted in her documentary Being Me, released last year, that her experiences in care have had a lasting impact.
“I grew up not trusting people because my greatest memories from my stay in the care home were the times my mother had to leave,” she said.
“You know, I literally screamed all over the house because I thought she’d never come back to get me.”
“She wouldn’t like to hear how this has really affected me. Yes, she would really hate how I am and how it literally destroys me. But I know she’d be so proud of me if I did this.’