Zoe Luffman: Girl, 18, took her own life on her first day back at university – as her final heartbreaking diary entries are revealed

A teenager’s harrowing struggle with her mental health is revealed in the diary she kept before taking her own life.

Zoe Louise Luffman, 18, was found dead on July 18, 2022 in her dorm room at Lincoln University in the city of Lincoln, New Zealand.

The freshman, who was from Marlborough, died on the first day after the semester break. She had not been found for several days.

Coroner Mary-Anne Borrowdale officially ruled her death a suicide and urged the community to seek help if they are struggling with their mental health.

Ms. Luffman suffered in silence for years, keeping her struggle a secret from friends and family.

She had suicidal thoughts during her high school years, suffered from anxiety and even self-harmed.

Her mental health seemed to improve after school, as she was “excited” about starting college.

Ms. Luffman also had “support” following a visit to a community mental health service. But in March of this year, her condition worsened.

She only shared her struggles in her diary, in which she regularly took notes.

Coroner Borrowdale reflected on how this documented Ms Luffman’s actual mental state and heartbreaking decline.

“At the end of March, Zoe wrote that she had become very anxious and felt besieged by ‘demons,'” she revealed, as reported in the New Zealand herald.

Zoe’s diary records explicit suicidal thoughts. She wrote that she didn’t want to be there anymore, that she was ‘needed’ to die, and that she was on the verge of death.’

Mrs. Luffman regularly described having “feelings of unworthiness and numbness.”

The young Kiwi kept her mental health issues a secret from her friends and family, telling her about her problems only through her diary.

Mrs. Luffman was a passionate conservationist who devoted her life to environmental causes

On the day of her death — July 15 — Ms Luffman wrote about what she did by beginning each message with “on the morning of the day I died” or “on the evening of the day I died,” the coroner said. .

In her latest entry, she said, “I pray that I will find peace.”

“Zoe’s diary, letters and other documents, written in anticipation of her death, bear witness to her episodic despair and her growing determination to end her life,” coroner Borrowdale added.

Ms. Luffman pursued a Bachelor of Science degree majoring in ecology at the university.

She was a passionate conservationist who devoted her life to environmental causes.

Ms Luffman organized beach cleanups, met former New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern to speak about protecting the sea, and was awarded Keep New Zealand Beautiful Tidy Kiwi of the Month last year.

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