My bridesmaid asked to bring her fiancé to the bachelorette weekend my sister is paying for so it can ‘double as their vacation’
A bride is shocked after her sassy bridesmaid invited her boyfriend to the bachelorette party – expecting her to pay for it.
The confused bride from the US took to Reddit to get opinions and shared four screenshots of posts in the bridesmaid’s group chat, where the drama took place.
It was shared with the r/ChooseBeggars forum, which is described as “a subreddit for posting screenshots, photos, or stories of people who are way too picky when they beg for things.”
In the chat, the bridesmaid said she wanted her fiancé to come with her to the hotel – which the bride’s sister pays for – so they can use the hot tub and other facilities. ‘
However, she got short shrift with the bride’s sister, who wrote back saying, “You can’t bring your partner to a bachelorette party.” It’s just rude.’
In the post, she shared four screenshots of messages in the bridesmaid’s group chat, where the drama unfolded
The stunned bride replied, “I really don’t think you should bring your partner to a bachelorette party…”
The conversation started with the bridesmaid claiming that someone else – presumably the bride – had told her that it would be fine to bring her fiancé to the bachelorette party.
She said she wanted to ‘double check how many rooms are there’ and added ‘it doesn’t matter if we have our own room but I just like having it next to me and wanted to go to the pool and hot tub and everything with him.’
Adding “that weekend acts as our vacation.”
She then asked for the details as soon as possible, including which hotel they were staying at.
She wrote, “Everything will be taken care of as soon as I can type a person. It’s all in my agenda.’
The stunned bride’s sister replied, “I really don’t think you should take your partner to a bachelorette party…
Still determined to get her beau to the bachelorette party, the bridesmaid said, “So you’re paying for a whole room just for me and I can’t share?” And I just said it’s not at the party’
‘I haven’t chosen a hotel or rooms yet, but they are very expensive. I’m not going to subsidize your and your friend’s vacation.”
The bridesmaids’ tone quickly turned snappy as she replied, “Fiancee, and it’s not for the party, just for the hotel room.”
The bride’s sister didn’t back down and said, “Let’s just change it to partner.” You should not bring your partner to a bachelorette party. It’s just rude.
She added, “(the bride) is too nice to tell you otherwise. Luckily I’m not.’
Still determined to get her beau to the bachelorette party, the bridesmaid said, “So you’re paying for a whole room just for me and I can’t share?” And I just said it’s not at the party.’
The enraged woman replied, “I definitely wouldn’t pay for you a whole room, no. If you want to sleep in your own room with your partner and spend time with him in the hotel instead of the girls, you can pay for your own room.’
Instead of apologizing, the bridesmaid replied icily, “Okay, that’s why I asked you not to say it.” If it had been my own room, I would have taken it with me, that’s what this conversation was about.’
To keep her calm, the bride’s sister added, “Sorry for the confusion. Not everyone gets their own room. I’m looking for 2 rooms to share right now, but the cost is about $600 for the two rooms for the two nights, so I haven’t pulled the trigger yet.
The Reddit post has more than 800 comments, the majority of which side with the bride
“I’ll let you know which hotel I choose before this weekend so you can have your own room.”
However, the maid of honor was still confused and said she “didn’t know if there were more rooms or not” and that her partner will not come if there are shared rooms.
The bride’s sister said, “As long as your partner is not with you, you are free to share a room with the girls.” If you bring your partner, you are free to get your own room. I hope that gives clarity.’
She later posted on the thread to clarify that some of the bridesmaids are having financial problems so she pays for the hotel to make sure her sister has a great time and everyone can be there.
“The bridesmaids know that I will cover the cost of the hotel, but I didn’t make it clear that we would be sharing the rooms,” she said. “I thought this would be assumed, but we all know what the assumption does.”
The Reddit drew more than 800 comments, the majority of which sided with the bride and her sister.
One man wrote, “My wife couldn’t afford me to be around the bachelorette party. For example, go out and have a good time. Don’t invite me or feel you have to contact me unless you REALLY need/want to or it’s an emergency.”
Reddit users side with the bride, asking “why would you ever say that to anyone in a million years?”
Someone else joked ‘This is going to be the most awkward weekend ever, can I come? I need my own room’ with another replying, ‘I need a room too, but my partner will be coming along. It’s really our honeymoon, I hope you don’t mind funding.’
One Reddit user said the whole situation seems “a little strange”:
“I’m more stuck with the fact that she wanted to take her partner to a bachelorette party. Can’t she get away from him for a few days and hang out with the girls – the whole reason the trip was planned?
“Does she expect him to hang out with everyone while you do girly things? Is she going to insist that he go?
“If she takes him, assume she’ll take most of the time to be with him and ditch the gang. If she’s paid for something where the finances are combined, I wonder if she’ll ask for a refund if she decides not to spend time with her partner.”
However, not everyone thinks the bridesmaid is unreasonable
Another said, “I’d bet all my life that if the fiancé was going to a bachelorette weekend with his friends, these sorts of arrangements would never be a consideration.” Even if (biiiiig if) he wanted her there, he would never ask the groom/best man’
However, not everyone thinks the maid of honor is unreasonable – one user wrote:
“Based on the first few texts, it’s totally unclear how many rooms will be allocated, so the ‘beggar’ wonders why it’s okay for her to just get a free room, but it’s not okay to let her friend /fiancée to bring.
‘Who (not sure if Bride or MOH) will cover the cost of 2 rooms; of which all the girls will share space, which only becomes clear later.
“If OP intends to divide those costs between the group, it is not clear from any of those texts. ‘Beggar’ seems totally fine when said no it’s just they both clarify their points back and forth after that I don’t see this as being picky or beggar
“I see it as a confused person who doesn’t have all the information and is fine with saying no.”
They added, “Why would she bring her fiance to a bachelorette party? That’s a completely different madness.’