Haunted Mansion does justice to the scariest ghost of the ride

Disney’s 2023 movie Haunted house is packed with ghosts lifted straight from the theme park ride. The infamous Hatbox Ghost, played by Jared Leto in the film, has a major role, as does psychic Madame Leota (Jamie Lee Curtis). But other more subtle ride appearances are the portraits on the walls and the ghosts dangling from the dining room chandelier. Some ghosts are allies for protagonists Ben (LaKeith Stanfield) and Gabbie (Rosario Dawson) and their friends. Others are real threats. Most of them are just there for the #vibes though.

But while the Hatbox Ghost gets a central role disproportionate to his own historic appearance on the ride (though certainly in keeping with its massive fandom), the actually scariest ghost – and the one that has always been the scariest part of the ride in my opinion – gets its time to shine in what is definitely the creepiest moment in an often not very creepy movie.

(Ed. remark: Spoilers ahead for Haunted houseboth the 2023 movie and the Disney Parks attraction.)

Haunted house gives the bride – aka Constance Hatchaway, a serial killer who killed all her husbands with an ax and who now haunts the mansion’s attic – her time to shine. She doesn’t play a pivotal role in the movie, but her scenes are some of the most memorable parts, which is fitting for the character.

When I was a kid I was terrified of the Haunted Mansion, but it also intrigued me. After a traumatic experience on a haunted house attraction when I was very young, I resisted the Haunted Mansion ride during my first few Disney trips, even though I had always been fascinated with Halloween and all things spooky. Finally, armed with internet access, I looked up the Wikipedia page for the ridehoping that studying and remembering it would prepare me for the horrors within.

The only part of that description that really scared me was the description of the attic, where the bride resides. (The current Wikipedia description is kind of lame, but I swear it was terrifying to read when I was a kid.) I braced myself for intense scares in that particular scene when I finally mustered up the courage to take the ride, but it was actually pretty light in that regard. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience – and the attic scene stayed with me as the attraction’s most haunting moment.

While the Haunted Mansion is quite creepy visually, the ghosts at the start of the ride are completely benign. They just chill in their house, move books in the library or dance in a ballroom. It’s just a tour of a pedestrian’s day in the (un)life of a ghost.

That all changes once the ride reaches the attic. With the thump of a beating heart and the swing of an ax as you pass each portrait of Constance and her newest husband, each new man loses his head in turn. you know this spirit is not kind. Adding to the fear is the disappearance of the Ghost Host, the narrator who has extolled the virtues of the mansion for you from the moment you enter the attraction. He actually drops out at this point in the ride. Instead, you’ll hear a dissonant version of the Bridal March, with Constance reciting her vows and really emphasizing that “till death do us part”.

The moment the characters in 2023’s Haunted house saw the attic, I knew the bride was coming. I braced myself as Ben climbed the stairs, and though I thought the door would close behind him before the others got in, it still startled me. I knew what was in the attic, but director Justin Simien is slowly building it up.

Image: Disney

As Ben explores the attic, we see portraits of Constance and her husbands, and just like on the ride, they lose their heads one by one. Clearly someone is watching Ben, building up to a jump scare. But Ben immediately tries to stop the ghost from chopping his head off by telling her that he is an ally of women and that her husbands probably deserved to die. That moment is really funny – and a testament to how well Simien makes a haunted house movie that older kids can still enjoy.

The attic scene isn’t Constance’s only appearance. She is one of the biggest threats in the movie aside from the villain. She leads ghostly crowds after the protagonists. We know she’s not just some lost soul looking for something like some of the other ghosts that roam the mansion – she’s a bloodthirsty killer. When she grunts and raises her axe, it’s wonderfully menacing. This is not a spirit to talk to, like Master Gracely, the owner of the house. She’s out for blood.

Haunted house is scary, but not at scary. The jump scares are usually punctuated by jokes, and like the ride itself, the creepiness comes more from the fear in the atmosphere than from shocking scenes. Sure, the Hatbox Ghost reveal is kind of creepy, but the attic scene gets the best build of the movie by far. Personally, I’m just glad Simien got it right through Constance and her attic.

Haunted house is in theaters now.