Chelsea Handler roasts “horny old men” Baldwin, De Niro and Pacino for having so many kids

Pushed over the edge by Robert De Niro’s recent announcement that he had fathered his seventh child at age 79, comedian Chelsea Handler says he’s part of an “epidemic” of “horny old men” and their continued procreation.

In an Instagram video from last night, Handler — who has no kids of his own — took aim at De Niro, Al Pacino, Alec Baldwin, and Elon Musk.

Together, the four stars have 28 children.

Filming from her bathroom in a set of white pajamas, Handler, 48, joked, “There’s an epidemic sweeping the country and no, it’s not another virus, it’s worse. Horny old men who don’t stop spreading their cum.

Don’t get me started on these four horny old men who have never seen a broken condom they didn’t like. They can’t stop reproducing. Between the four of those boys, they have 32 children!’

De Niro, 79, has seven children, while Pacino, 83, is expecting his fourth child. His girlfriend, Noor Alfallah, 29, is pregnant.

Alec Baldwin, 65, recently welcomed his seventh child with wife Hilaria, 39. He is also a father to Ireland Baldwin, 27.

Elon Musk, 51, tops the list with his nine children.

“Obviously Elon Musk isn’t as old as Murdoch or De Niro, he’s not even eighty yet, but because of his personality he might as well be,” Handler joked.

Her solution to “protect the women of the world from them” is to offer herself up for “auction.”

‘Actually, all those old men should probably auction themselves off. They’re antiques, after all,” she joked.

Together, Elon Musk, Alec Baldwin, Al Pacino, and Robert De Niro have fathered 29 children. Musk’s youngest child died as a baby

Robert De Niro with some of his six older children and family in 2009. He welcomed his seventh with his 45-year-old girlfriend in May

De Niro’s seventh child, Gia Virginia Chen De Niro, was born in May

Handler closed the sketch with the tagline, “Horny old men – it’s never worth the money.”

De Niro proudly welcomed his seventh child, Gia Virginia Chen De Niro, in May with his 45-year-old partner Tiffany.

The couple shared a photo with CBS’ Gayle King.

When Pacino announced he was expecting a baby, De Niro congratulated him.

‘He’s a few years older than me. God bless him!’ he said during an appearance on TODAY.

Elon Musk with his ex-partner Grimes and his five older children in 2018. He has nine children

Musk with daughter Exa Dark Sideræl (left) and son X Æ A-12 (right). He joked that he was doing his best to help the underpopulation crisis

Alec Baldwin and wife Hilaria have seven children together. In September, they welcomed their seventh baby, Ilaria.

Their sixth baby, Maria Lucia, was born via surrogate mother, five months after Hilaria gave birth to their fifth baby, Eduardo.

In the past, Hilaria has been open about her fertility and pregnancies, sharing in real time when she miscarried in 2019. It was her second in a span of months.

Musk, 51, has nine children with four women.

His youngest child, Nevada, died as an infant in 2002. He and his ex-wife Justine welcomed twins Griffin and Vivian Musk via surrogate in 2004, and then had triplets Kai, Saxon, and Damian Musk in 2006.

Actor Alec Baldwin, 64, has seven children with wife Hilaria and daughter Ireland, 27, from a previous marriage

Al Pacino, 83, is expecting his fourth child with his 29-year-old girlfriend. He is shown with his adult children in 2020

In 2020, he and ex-girlfriend Grimes had their first child together (his sixth), X Æ A-12.

They then welcomed a daughter, Exa Dark Sideræl Musk, in December 2021.

A month earlier, he welcomed twins with Shivon Zilis, who worked at his company Neuralink.

He later joked on Twitter that he was “doing his best to help the underpopulation crisis.”

Another prolific sire spared from Handler’s sketch is Nick Cannon, who has 12 children at the age of 42.

In response to Musk’s underpopulation tweet, Cannon joked, “Right there with you, my brother!”