Drew Barrymore admits she wishes her mother was DEAD as she details her tumultuous childhood

Drew Barrymore has admitted that she wishes her own mother was dead, describing her tumultuous childhood and her struggle to “grow” while her mother is still “on this planet.”

The actress, 48, has been very open about how in the past her mother, Jaid, “exploited her” and took her to Hollywood parties and nightclubs when she was little, once revealing that she had her first drink when she was just nine – and that she was using cocaine by the time she was 12 .

Now, while talking to New York magazine, the Charlie’s Angels star said she “couldn’t wait” for her mom to be “gone,” while admitting to being jealous of her friends who lost their parents.

“All their mothers are gone, and my mother isn’t. I don’t have that luxury. But I can’t wait,” she told the outlet.

The 48-year-old actress has been very open in the past about how her mother, Jaid (seen in 1982), took her to Hollywood parties and nightclubs when she was little.

Drew once revealed that she had her first drink when she was just nine – and was using cocaine by the time she was 12. She’s seen in 1982 at the age of seven

Now, speaking to New York magazine, the Charlie’s Angels star (seen last month) said she “couldn’t wait” for her mom to be “gone”

The TV presenter explained that she “doesn’t want to live in a state” where she “wants someone dead sooner than they’re supposed to be so she can grow,” adding“I actually want her to be happy and thriving and healthy. But I have to fucking grow even though she’s on this planet.’

Drew (seen with her parents) admitted that she is jealous of her friends who lost their parents. She said, “All their mothers are gone, and my mother isn’t. I don’t have that luxury. But I can’t wait’

Later in the interview, Drew said she regretted the comments about her mother, promising that despite their rocky past, she still “cares” for her.

‘I did not feel well [saying that]. I do care. I never care,” she said. “I don’t know if I ever knew how to guard the wall completely, shut it down, not feel it, build it up.”

The 48-year-old has previously revealed how she is doing father, actor John Drew Barrymore, was an abusive alcoholic and left the picture when she was young.

That’s what she said Jaid — an aspiring actress herself who also spearheaded Drew’s career — “wasn’t prepared” to raise her on her own.

At the age of 13, Drew’s mother sent her to a mental institution, where she spent 18 months, and after leaving the center, she was emancipated from her parents.

But the star doesn’t like to harp on her past, or blame her mother for the bad things that happened to her.

“I choose very consciously not to view my life as things that were done to me,” she continued.

The TV presenter explained that she “doesn’t want to live in a state” where she “wants someone ‘dead’ sooner than they’re supposed to be so she can grow.” She was seen with her parents in 1982

She added, “I actually want to [my mom] to be happy and thrive and be healthy. But I have to fucking grow even though she’s on this planet.’ Drew is seen with her mother as a child

“I want to think of it as the things I did and chose to do. I am not attracted to people who blame others. I don’t think it’s sexy.’

Still, the actress admitted she wishes she was more “empathetic” to her younger self.

When will I ever give myself a goddamn break? What would it be like to be empathetic to that little girl?’ she asked.

“I’ve been a circus bear all my life. I swear to God, if the ringmaster left the tent, I’d become the ringmaster and start whipping myself.”

While talking to The protector in 2015, Drew recalled feeling “terrible” and “alone” as a child, adding that she was “very angry” because her “parents weren’t there” for her.

“When I was 13, that was probably the lowest,” she said. “Just knowing that I was really alone felt awful.

“It was a really rebellious time. I was very, very angry. When you look deep inside me, it’s like, why am I so angry, man? And it’s like, okay, because my parents weren’t there.

The star doesn’t like to harp on her past, or blame her mother for what happened to her. She said, “I’m not attracted to people who blame others. I don’t think it’s sexy

“But I realized, honestly, yes, my mom locked me up in an institution — boohoo! It gave great discipline.

“It was like serious recruit training and boot camp, and it was horrible and dark and very long, a year and a half, but I needed it.

“I needed this whole insane discipline. My life was not normal. I was not a child in school with normal circumstances. There was something very abnormal and I needed a serious change.

“It was very important for me to experience. It was very humbling, very soothing.

“Maybe it was necessary, because I came out of that as a more respectful person. And my parents didn’t teach me that, and life didn’t teach me that.”

When asked if she felt “exploited” by her parents at the time, she replied, “I mean, well, I think with my mother.”