Why do people cheat? Dad has regular affairs on his wife using Ashley Madison

A ‘happily married’ father in his 30s says regular affairs are the secret to his successful relationship – and he’s been doing it for seven years.

Nate has had five flings since he tied the knot with his wife, as his sex life at home is “too vanilla” and he’s tired of being the one to initiate sex and organize romantic evenings “to no avail.”

While he has an active and regular sex life with his wife, Nate says his extramarital affairs — which are mostly with married women — give him the “spice” he’s looking for in the bedroom.

“I only see one woman at a time – juggling multiple women is way too stressful,” Nate tells FEMAIL, who meets the women on the discreet dating platform Ashley Madison.

“We meet for passionate sex during the day while we are both working in our flexible jobs and can take time off, or in the evening when we both have a good excuse to get out. Overnight stays can be difficult for both of us.

“We chat through web based chat or video chat apps – Telegram, Google chat etc and I usually chat during working hours or late at night.”

Nate says he doesn’t keep any apps, messages, sexy photos or videos on his phone and clears anything suspicious before he gets home.

He also has a separate bank account which he uses to withdraw cash and pay for dates, lingerie and hotels.

“Some women I’ve had affairs with prefer to use their homes – it’s safe, familiar to them and it’s exciting to have wild sex in ways and places in their homes that they would never do with their husband,” he said, adding that he had only had monogamous relationships before marriage.

When asked if he feels guilty about digressing, Nate said the only guilt he felt came at the very beginning.

“My first was unplanned and was working with a senior director. She was at least 10 years older, very attractive, beautiful figure, took care of herself and had her breasts done,” he recalls.

“She had an office on one of the top floors and a great view of the city. After some Christmas parties, she asked me to carry some stuff upstairs.

“We were both a little drunk, it was late, there was no one else around and well… one thing led to another. After that I just felt horrible and swore I would never do something like that again. However, she seduced me again and after that we had an incredible time together and I learned to put those feelings into boxes and just enjoy this incredible woman, her sexual energy and the fantasies we lived together.’

Nate said he’s seen the benefit of his marriage and doesn’t feel guilty as long as he doesn’t get caught and has fun.

“My wife and I are really good friends and spend a lot of quality time together. We still have sex regularly and I always make sure she’s satisfied, but it’s just very boring, very vanilla and not exciting enough, despite my attempts to spice things up,” he said.

Nate has admitted that he asked his wife to take him to a sex therapist, but she brushed off the idea.

“It’s the same when I try to talk to her about our sex life — she doesn’t want to talk about it.” Her questions of what she might enjoy or what pleasure she would like is met with a stony silence,” he said.

‘She may wear the lingerie I buy her once or try out the toys, but after that they’re gathering dust in the wardrobe. Discussions of fantasies go nowhere and the times I’ve tried to get us to explore eroticism have gone nowhere.

“Having an affair has allowed me to loosen up a bit, explore my fantasies, have incredible, passionate sex with a woman who also has strong, sexy desires, and treat her.

“At home, I upset my wife longer by talking to her about our sex life.”

However, Nate admits that he would be a little upset if he found out his wife did the same thing.

“If I found out she was cheating on me, I’d be a little annoyed — but it could also be an opportunity to reset our sex lives, openly and maturely have some form of non-monogamy,” he said.

“If we’ve done it openly, absolutely not, in fact it’s a fantasy of mine, one I’ve often suggested to her. As with anything like this, you’d like to discuss it, be open, go through the stages slowly, making sure you’re all right.’

Nate says it takes an active conversation about their sex life before he considers going out of business.

“My wife needs to be more inspired and curious about sex, explore it, buy lingerie and clothes that make her feel not only good but super sexy, and discover toys that increase her pleasure,” he said.

“I want her to explore what she might enjoy, what I might enjoy and be turned on by different forms of eroticism. I want her to talk to me about her desires, what she would like to discover and what she thinks is so taboo that she’s nervous to admit it – that would be hot.

“If that leads to non-monogamy, her being a hot wife, swinging, etc. great… but if not, just the shift in attitude and sexual awakening would be great.”

Nate stands by the fact that his marriage is successful because of his cheating.

“I’ve been very careful and drawn the line in places where I feel like I’m getting in too deep with someone, where it becomes much more than just mutual sexual pleasure and pleasure,” he said.

“One of the things no one ever tells you about marriage or a long-term commitment in a relationship is how fundamental a good sex life together is.

“And for that you have to be excited and open about it, be able to talk about it, approach things and discuss things with your partner — but also listen to them and be willing to go where they want to go, just like you want them to go where you want .’

He says if that means opening up the relationship – even in secret – then so be it.

“As long as you both know it’s just fun and it’s not even close to the love and bond you have as life partners,” he said.

“To be honest, I’d be extremely excited if I knew my wife was having fun with another guy, a girl, or a couple, and I’d hear about it afterwards while we’re having incredibly hot sex,” he said.

‘…Or watch, join in and make sure she has the best time and gets breathtaking pleasure.

“But I don’t get that at home – so I get it elsewhere, and it’s great!”