My parents gave my sister a house as she didn’t have one – I’m fuming but some people say it’s fair
A woman has sparked a debate online after revealing she was angry that her parents had given her sister a house but had not offered to buy her a house when she was looking for a place on the real estate ladder.
The anonymous woman, who is believed to live in the UK, took to the UK forum Mumsnet to gather opinions on her dilemma.
In her post, she revealed that she bought her own home when she was just 25 years old thanks to a lot of “hard work and years of saving.”
But her 20-year-old sister doesn’t own a home, so their parents, who own two properties, suggested they give her one home.
Her post garnered mixed opinions, with many agreeing that the situation is unfair. However, some scoffed at the poster saying she had saved for years to buy a house when she was 25.
An anonymous woman has taken to UK forum Mumsnet to discuss how her parents, who own two houses, can give one of them to her sister, which she deems unfair (stock image)
And others suggested that somehow the situation could even out over the years.
The message, titled AIBU [Am I Being Unreasonable] to be angry about the fact that my sister got a house from my parents, said: ‘My parents have two houses (the one they live in and the other they rent out).
“The mortgage on the house they rent is expiring and my parents are deciding whether to keep or sell their current tenants.
‘Until today, my father mentioned ‘gifting’ the house to my sister (age 20) as another option.
“Of course I know the house belongs to my parents and they are free to do what they want with it, but I couldn’t help feeling angry about this.
“I’m 27 and bought my property at 25 through hard work and years of savings, so I feel it’s unfair that I had to work so hard to buy my house and my sister just got one as a present.
My sister felt I was a bit annoyed by the situation and said something along the lines of “I don’t know what your problem is, you already own your own house”.
“So, AIBU unreasonable to feel a little bad that my sister is basically getting a house for free when I had to work so hard for mine?”
The anonymous woman revealed in her post that her parents had suggested they ‘gift’ their second home to her sister
A small number of respondents felt that the situation may not be as bad as it seems.
One of them wrote, “Maybe they plan to even things out somewhere down the line. Maybe in their will, although I can understand that that doesn’t feel like a fair solution either.’
Another added, “You’re not being unreasonable, but could it be that they think you have a house, so don’t need one and might leave the house they live in to you?”
Meanwhile, a third added: “It honestly wouldn’t bother me. My siblings have received a lot more financial aid than I have over the years because they don’t earn that much, and I don’t begrudge it at all.
“You are only 27, have faith in yourself and your ability to stand on your own two feet.
“You didn’t need a helping hand to buy a house – be proud of this!”
Another commenter suggested the poster was unreasonable in saying she had spent years saving to buy her house.
A number of respondents believed that the situation may not be as unfair as it seems, and one couple suggested that the poster as she could buy it at home at the age of 25
They wrote, “I mean, you’re a lot luckier than you think buying a house at 25 only to toil away with savings for years to come.
“You’re only in your twenties and your sister’s only twenty. Is there really any reason to believe that it won’t balance out over time?
“I don’t think things have to happen at complete equal times for siblings for things to be fair.”
Another agreed, writing; ‘Toiling for years/bought a house at the age of 25.’
However, many felt the situation was unfair, one of them responded to the post by saying, “You’re not being unreasonable, I suggest you talk to them.”
“It’s perfectly reasonable to say that you know it’s their money, but it’s disturbing to think that you’ve had to cut back and save for years to get to where you are today, but your sister might be getting a house as a gift. It’s okay to say it feels unfair.”
The majority of respondents felt that the parents were unfair in giving one of their houses to a daughter
And another agreed and wrote, “Of course YANBU if they give your sister a house and give you nothing.
“That’s some seriously questionable parenting doing that.” Why would ANYONE do that? I would never give one child something the other doesn’t get… Awful.”
In a similar vein, a third wrote, “Your parents would be fools to do this. It’s extremely unfair.’
Another poster felt the same way, writing, “How to completely wipe out a family relationship between all of you in one fell swoop. Gosh… that can’t be easy to accept.’
A fifth suggested what they thought the parents should do and said, “Yanbu. It’s completely unfair. Your parents should sell and split the money between you and your sister. Your sister will have a good chunk of money for a down payment, and you can pay off a chunk of the mortgage.”