Opposites really DO attract: Couples with clashing personalities are no less likely to last

Whether it’s Beauty and the Beast or Harry and Sally, the idea that “opposites attract” has been around for centuries.

And now scientists believe it’s true, with new research revealing that matching personalities isn’t the key to finding “The One.”

In a study of nearly 1,300 couples, experts at Michigan State University took a closer look at how five major personality traits influenced levels of relationship satisfaction.

Emotional volatility, open-mindedness and compassion were among these, in addition to how extroverted one is and their conscientiousness.

While it was clear that many are attracted to partners who are similar, this was not seen as crucial for long-lasting love.

The study’s lead authors, Rebekka Weidmann and Mariah F. Purol, of Michigan State University, said, “People are more likely to choose partners who are more like them, but our research shows that this similarity is not associated with higher life or relationship satisfaction.” in established couples.

“Personality-level associations have been under-researched, and our findings revealed some unique insights into which facets are most strongly linked to satisfaction in a relationship and to life in general.”

The US-based researchers looked at couples, ages 19 to 89, who had been together for an average of 30 years.

These couples faced numerous questions to paint a picture of how satisfied they were in the relationship and life in general.

While differences were not detrimental to relationships, scientists recognized that negative emotionality often had the greatest impact on relationship satisfaction.

Meanwhile, open-mindedness made the least difference in both male and female satisfaction — including intellect, imagination, and sensitivity to appearance.

Similar personality traits were found to have minimal effect on relationship longevity (file image)

Partners who were more extroverted, agreeable, conscientious, open-minded, and less negatively emotional were generally the most satisfied.

The results come despite numerous other studies suggesting the opposite is true.

A 2013 analysis of eHarmony’s Compatibility Matching System found that similarity was actually key to keeping a relationship going, even though opposites are attracted to each other at first.

For example, the study claimed that a submissive person may be initially attracted to a dominant person, but that two dominant figures are generally more suitable.

Gin Lalli, a psychotherapist from Edinburgh, also said that the phrase “opposites attract” is complicated.

She told MailOnline: “The point of view that we don’t need someone who is exactly like us usually comes with maturity, once we are more comfortable in our own skin and more confident we can stop feeling so threatened by differences . and can well protect our own sense of identity while still being together with a partner who is different.’

“Opposites attract” could be especially beneficial for introverts, with extroverts helping them to come out of their shells more, Ms Lalli said.

She also added that someone who is rather spontaneous or impulsive may feel more grounded if they are in a relationship with a “practical and pragmatic” person.

Ms. Lalli continued, “However, there can also be downsides to opposites. Communication and conflict resolution can be difficult when people have different communication styles.

“I think it is not so important to consider whether you are different or the same as your partner, you should be more guided by the fact that you have shared values, mutual respect, want similar things in your future and are committed to work through challenges together.”