How a grinning Richard Branson defeated the bumptious man from the Beeb
Amol Rajan interviews Richard Branson
Inside No. 9
Never enter a contest with Richard Branson. You are doomed to lose.
Early in his meeting with the Virgin billionaire, the arrogant Amol Rajan remarked, “I’ve just been to Kenya with Bill Gates, your dear friend.”
The subtext was clear: Your money doesn’t impress me, friend – I know richer people than you.
Sir Richard just nodded with a tight leprechaun smile and didn’t reply, like a politician ignoring a heckler. But the map of Amol was marked.
A few minutes later, when the BBC man tried to convince his interviewee of drug use, Keith Richards’ name came up.
Early in his meeting with the Virgin billionaire (left), dashing Amol Rajan (right) remarked: ‘I’ve just been to Kenya with Bill Gates, your dear friend’
Branson grinned, praised the Rolling Stones guitarist for his ability to roll the perfect joint and began a sensational story of an escapade at Virgin’s Oxfordshire recording studios, The Manor.
One morning, awakened by furious knocking, he opened the front door to a man who wanted to know if his wife was inside with Keef.
Over the man’s shoulder, Branson saw the Stone and the woman in question, both stark naked, flee across the lawn.
“They’re not here,” he told the angry husband with technical veracity, “but you’re welcome to come in and check for yourself.”
If you drop a name, do it like a megaton bomb and take out the opposition.
After that, there was little confrontation during Amol Rajan interviews Richard Branson (BBC2).
All feints were brushed off, finished off with another tight smile. When Rajan asked if living on the Caribbean island of Necker was beneficial for tax purposes, Branson replied, “Your question, I’m kind of resented.”
He said much the same thing when asked if he “shuddered” at old photos of himself with girls in bikinis.
The question was resented and thus did not require an answer – although he added, “I don’t think I’ve ever made anyone feel uncomfortable.”
Branson was more outspoken about his bleak experiences at boarding school, producing reports describing him as “handicapped,” “retarded,” and “dumb.”
In fact, he had undiagnosed dyslexia, which he now describes as his superpower. Sure, most of us would like to be “stupid” enough to own an island and a space rocket.
While he has always loved his publicity stunts, Branson has rarely opened up to Inquisition.
The purpose of this gradually became clear when he talked about the effects of the lockdown on his companies.
“We had 50, 60 planes all on the ground. There was a time when I thought we’d lose everything.’
He bailed out his businesses, at a personal cost of £1.5bn, but public criticism was harsh when the Virgin Group asked for a £500m bailout, which was denied. This interview turned out to be his attempt to restore some shine to his reputation.
The occasion ended with Branson beating Rajan at chess. That was superfluous – aunt’s husband was already utterly defeated.
Inside No. 9 (BBC2), the comedy feature films written by stars Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, are also becoming obsolete. Once full of fantasy and dark ingenuity, the series is now picking up steam.
Inside No. 9 (BBC2), the comedy feature films written by stars Reece Shearsmith (right) and Steve Pemberton (left), are also becoming obsolete
The sole purpose of the final episode was to make up a story around the word “paraskevidekatriaphobia,” a mouthful coined to describe the superstitious fear of Friday the 13th.
Along with Amanda Abbington and Samantha Spiro, with a cameo from Dermot O’Leary, it featured a few false twists, such as a parody of Roald Dahl’s Tales Of The Unexpected in the 1980s.
The best joke was Dermot’s reaction when he was mistaken for half of Ant and Dec. He smiled tight, humorless—just like Branson.