Matt Willis admits he would gaslight wife Emma during drug battle

Matt Willis has shared some of the harsh realities of his battle with drug addiction and the toll it took on his relationship with wife Emma Willis.

The Busted singer, 39, candidly admitted that he would make Emma think she was crazy during the height of his addiction battle.

During heavy binges, Matt revealed that he had even left notes saying he was “sorry” for his current wife, when he was convinced he wouldn’t wake up the next day.

Matt, who has created a new documentary about his drug and alcohol addiction called Matt Willis: Addiction And Me, opened up for its release.

In an interview with the GuardianMatt spoke of the “nights when he thought he had gone too far, drunk too much and done too many drugs.”

They revealed that Matt would leave notes for his wife, just in case he didn’t wake up. “Say sorry,” he says. The next morning he would find the note before she did and throw it away.

The documentary examines the impact of Matt’s addiction on Emma, ​​a popular TV presenter and mother of his three children.

Emma began tracking Matt’s drinking and drug use by keeping a diary and admitted she feared he would eventually take his own life.

Reflecting on how it damaged their relationship, he says, “[Part of the recovery process] is that you make amends to people you have hurt. I never did that with Emma; I don’t think I ever can. I guess the way I choose to do it is to be this man, every day’

“If she notices something, I take it to heart and listen, not argue. I go, ‘You feel this way; that means I’m doing something that’s not in your head.’ Because I was the mastermind behind gaslighting, which made her think she was crazy. I’m so ashamed of that and I never want her to feel that way again.”

Earlier this year, in an interview with Giovanna Fletcher on her Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast, Matt broke down when he revealed that his battle with alcoholism caused him to miss his daughter’s first crawl.

He shared how missing the milestone had been a “turning point” in his addiction and motivated him to get better.

Matt and Emma have three children together: Isabelle, 13, Ace, 11, and Trixie, six.

Talking to Giovanna Fletcher on her Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast, he got emotional as he remembered hitting “rock bottom.”

He said, “When Isabelle was born, I stayed clean for a while, and then I relapsed when she was about six months old.

“Actually, I missed Emma’s birthday. She was in Birmingham and I was on a TV show at the time.

“It was the wrap party and I had a glass of champagne and I was on my way to the races that night; I came to her parent’s house at four in the morning like it was nothing out of my head.

Fighting back tears, he continued, “It was the worst. The next morning I knew what I had done. Emma told me I missed Isabelle’s crawling.

“You know, she was kind of messing around and stuff. But I never crawled, she never crawled – and she crawled for the first time that night, and I was in a pub with strangers.

“You know, I missed that, you know; and it really dawned on me that I was a terrible father.

‘It really touched me. I watched it all, repeat that cycle of shit, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

“Everyone talks about hitting rock bottom and stuff, and I’ve always been afraid of those words because people die at rock bottom, they’re scary to define.”

“For me that was a turning point, I ran out of the house, I walked down the road to this pub and I didn’t go in, I had some stuff in my pocket which I threw in the bin.

“I bought a Lucozade. I walked back to the house and got down on my knees and apologized and said I was so sorry.”

Matt concluded, “You know, for the first time I really meant it. It wasn’t so much about quitting as it was about being a terrible father and losing everything.”

Matt will candidly share his battle with drug and alcohol addiction in a heartbreaking new documentary.

The bassist will talk about his time with the pop band, and will also talk about undergoing treatment for alcoholism in 2005 – when the group broke up.

In the BBC Three project – expected to air this year – Matt describes how his addiction developed from parts of his childhood and talks about how starting a new life with wife Emma saved him.

A source told The Sun: “This will be just as personal for Matt as he has never delved so deeply into his past, at least not in public.

It will reveal how some of his problems stemmed from a childhood where his parents made him feel he had to conform to male stereotypes.

“That included telling him boys don’t cry, which meant he never shed a tear until he was 29 years old.”