I’m an etiquette expert – here’s how to convince passengers to swap seats with you on a flight

Asking someone to switch seats with you on a flight is never ideal, but certain circumstances require it.

Maybe you didn’t plan ahead and pay for reserved seats, or you checked in too late to get seats next to your family.

Whatever the reason, your only course of action is to rely on the kindness of strangers, hoping that a fellow passenger will give up their seat so you can sit next to your loved one.

How do you approach the question about changing seats? In conversation with MailOnline Travel, etiquette expert Diana Gottsman has revealed the best ways to persuade someone to give up their seat on a flight.

Gottsmanthe founder of Texas Protocol School, said: ‘When it comes to changing seats on an airplane, it’s always best to plan ahead so you can sit next to each other when you book your flight. If that is not possible, it is a delicate situation to ask someone who has chosen his seat in advance to change.’

Diane Gottsman, the founder of The Protocol School of Texas

Gottsman recommends swapping an equivalent seat with the passenger in the first place. She says, “For example, an aisle for an aisle seat, or a window for a window. It’s inappropriate to ask someone in an aisle seat to move to a center seat so you can sit next to a friend or loved one.”

Most airlines give priority to placing families together. British Airways, for example, ensures that every child under the age of 12 sits next to a guardian from the same booking. Plus, if you’re flying British Airways with an infant under two years old, you can choose a seat for you and everyone in your booking for free. Ryanairmeanwhile, allows a free assigned seat for up to four children per adult who purchases a seat.

With this in mind, cabin crew may be able to lend a helping hand if you’re traveling with family, Gottsman reveals. She says, “If the situation is that you would like to sit next to a younger child, [or] relative of course, that’s understandable, and you could even ask the flight attendant for help.’

Regardless of how you ask, you need to prepare for rejection, according to Gottsman.

She says, “If you ask a fellow passenger if they mind switching seats, always expect the answer to be possibly ‘no’ and be prepared to accept the answer gracefully.” Smile and reassure them that you understand. Don’t be frustrated because they won’t give up their seat – they may have paid a surcharge for extra legroom.’

Sometimes fellow passengers surprise you with an act of kindness, Gottsman reveals, saying, “Sometimes someone sees you’re not sitting next to your loved ones, and they offer their seat without you asking.” At least thank them kindly and show appreciation for their kindness.’

One thing Gottsman says you should never do is plop yourself down in the seat you want, waiting for the passenger to arrive. She explains, “It’s immediately unpleasant!”

The cabin crew may be able to help you move seats if you are traveling with your family

What are the do’s and don’ts when changing seats? Nicky Kelvin, head of UK travel site The Points Guy, recently offered some advice over an Instagram video

Gottsman summarizes her advice, saying, “There are understandable circumstances where you can request a change, but it’s best to do this with a ticketing agent and not put fellow passengers in an uncomfortable situation.”

It’s worth noting that not all airlines charge for seat selection, but many do. Charges usually apply when you have booked the cheapest ticket type, e.g. Ryanair cost from £3 to select a seat, while British Airways charges around £7, according to the frequent flyer site Head for points.

The hotly debated subject of changing seats was also touched upon by Nicky Kelvin, head of travel website The Points Guy UK, in a recent Instagram video.

In the video, he says, “If you want to sit near your partner, or if you have a tight layover, it’s fine to ask for a similar seat, but if the swap isn’t even, it’s best to do it alone applications in special situations, ie, caring for a partner or reuniting a family with young children. But even then it’s still a heated discussion.’

The topic was also broached by Reddit user ‘sumimigaquatchi’ on the forum, prompting fellow Reddit users to explain when they’re willing to sacrifice their seats.

Reddit user ‘theme park insider’ said they would be “definitely” willing to trade if the person offered a better seat than they already have.

They added: ‘If they offer me a chair of the same quality, it depends on how nicely they ask, or if they offer me something else. A bag of crisps [crisps] or a peanut butter cup would probably be more than enough to get me moving. Heck, just a nice “please” could do it.’

User Red Corn weighted: “If they’re nice and it’s an equal or upgraded seat, I’m always up for a trade if I’m traveling alone in economy.”

And user ‘Petey Nice’ commented, “It should at least be an even trade. Otherwise I accept cash.’

While user ‘gt_ap’ said, ‘I always do it on request. Life’s too short to whine about things like this. The flight is over in a few hours and I’ve made someone’s day.’

Visit her for more etiquette tips from Diane Gottsman, international etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas Instagram profile or her website – dianegottsman. com.