Made In Chelsea’s Joshua Patterson reveals he was suicidal after spiralling into a dark depression

Joshua Patterson contemplated suicide after hitting rock bottom.

The 33-year-old rose to fame as ‘JP’ on Made In Chelsea – a show about the lives of affluent young people living in southwest London.

But behind the scenes, Joshua struggled with terrible bouts of depression and crippling anxiety.

In an exclusive chat with MailOnline, the reality star now tells us how he turned his story around and embarks on his toughest challenge yet: running 76 marathons in 76 cities across the UK in just 76 days.

Together with his hand-picked team of experts at Until, a London-based hub of leading practitioners, JP £1 million for suicide prevention charitySamaritans.

It’s a matter that is close to Josh’s heart. The reality star, just 13 years old, attempted suicide after his parents divorced.

He reached another low point in 2015. In 2018, his relationship with his Made In Chelsea opponent Binky Felstead broke down after the birth of their daughter India, now five.

“I’ve struggled with my mental health for most of my life,” he says. ‘I’ve had severe depression. I’ve been on the verge of contemplating suicide.

“I have quite a lot of anxiety that I live with every day. When I was younger there was a real lack of understanding of what it was and the support for it.”

JP says he was often ashamed of his mental health issues growing up with loving parents in a comfortable home.

“Mental illness is a horrible torturous disease where you are a prisoner of your thoughts,” he says.

“For me, this made struggling with my own mental health even more difficult — I would beat myself up thinking I had no right to feel the way I did when others out there have been through and are going through so much worse.”

Josh says his early 20s were his hardest after tough years as a teenager where he lashed out to cope.

“Men struggle,” he says. “I think ultimately we’re told from a young age not to show emotion and to “man up.” There are too many men who take their own lives every day because they are too proud to reach out.’

Despite his own struggles, Josh has decided to take on his mammoth marathon challenge, which will see him run a total of 3,991.2 miles in an estimated 465 hours, to fund the Samaritans’ lifesaving calls to people in crisis.

“I’m trying to change the story. Living with these things doesn’t mean life has to come to an end,” he says.

The challenge is an endurance of monumental proportions and Josh spent months training with a panel of experts at Tot, a London-based holistic hub that offers access to state-of-the-art facilities and leading health and wellness practitioners, to ensure he was in top condition and working with him on the road.

“Mentally and physically I’ve never been stronger,” he says.

“The team is so incredibly valuable. I’ve always been someone who takes on challenges alone. For the first time I went into this because I really needed a team because of its size. We have the most empathetic and powerful group of specialists together. ‘

Josh will finish in London on May 13 and with the 76 marathons in full swing, he admits there have been some tough times and that he has “daddy’s guilt about being separated from his daughter.”

“There are days when I miss her terribly,” he says. We named the camper Elsa and Mary Poppins because she wanted to.

“I talk to her every other day. It was a difficult decision, but in the end I felt that hopefully her father is a huge source of inspiration.”

Josh is doing just that as he is not only raising awareness, the father of one is also hoping to break the previous world record of 14 consecutive marathons.

“This challenge and my daughter give me a huge amount of purpose,” he says.

And Josh has one powerful message for anyone struggling with mental health like him.

He says, “If anyone is ever having a hard time, just pick up the phone. Life is hard. Hopefully we can get you through this dark period.’

Tot is a London-based holistic hub that brings all health, wellbeing and performance needs under one roof.

Home to over 230 specialists across 25 disciplines, Tot offers access to state-of-the-art facilities and leading practitioners in premium locations across London. Read more at till.co.uk

For assistance, call Samaritans toll-free at 116 123 or visit samaritans.org