Louanne Ward Matchmaking: Are you dating a narcissist?
A leading relationship expert has listed the red flags of dating a narcissist and explained how identifying toxic traits early can save you years of heartbreak and miscommunication.
Louanne Warda certified master matchmaker with more than two decades of experience, says recognizing narcissistic traits in the early stages of dating can be difficult because everything seems “too good to be true.”
But, she warns, what follows the honeymoon can leave you confused and heartbroken.
“Narcissistic personality disorder is a psychiatric disorder characterized by grandiosity, excessive need for attention and admiration, and an inability to empathize,” said the Perth professional.
While it is normal for most people to be somewhat narcissistic with self-love and self-esteem and in this age of selfies, likes and comments, you can only imagine the effect narcissism has on our society.
“To help you date better and create a healthy bond, let’s take a deeper look at what to look out for so you can avoid falling in love with a narcissist.”
Louanne Ward , a certified master matchmaker with more than two decades of experience, says recognizing narcissistic traits in the early stages of dating can be difficult because everything seems “too good to be true”
HOW TO DISCOVER A NARCISSIST
“NPD is characterized by inflated self-esteem, an insatiable desire for praise, and an inability to empathize with others,” Louanne said.
She added that narcissistic individuals often have a “grandiose sense of self-importance, a fixation on fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love, and a belief that they are exceptional in some way.”
Common symptoms and features include:
- A fragile sense of self that is easily threatened by criticism or rejection
- A need for constant attention and admiration
- A lack of empathy for others
- Highly critical of others and quick to point out your shortcomings
- A tendency to exploit others for personal gain
- Envious and jealous behavior
- Gaslighting with an inability to accept blame
- They are insecure and overly sensitive to criticism
Narcissistic individuals often have a “grandiose sense of self-importance, a fixation on fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love, and a belief that they are somehow exceptional”
WHAT ARE THE EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF A NARCISSIST?
Louanne says the first sign of recognizing a narcissist is noticing the pattern of abuse.
“This narcissistic cycle of abuse is one of the most troubling aspects of NPD in relationships and usually has four stages: idealization, devaluation, discarding, and vacuuming,” she said.
“If you’ve ever had a whirlwind romance with someone who seemed too good to be true and then suddenly turned toxic, chances are you’ve been through this cycle of abuse.”
She often initially shower you with love, attention and gifts, making you feel like the most important person on earth, but sooner or later their behavior begins to change.
“They became extremely critical, manipulative and emotionally abusive, leaving you confused and hurt,” she warns.
“If you’ve been through this, you’ve seen firsthand the early warning signs of a narcissist.
Louanne says the first sign of recognizing a narcissist is noticing the pattern of abuse
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF NARCISSISM IN MEN?
Louanne says that while both sexes may display similar characteristics, there are some significant differences in how narcissism affects men and women.
1. Narcissistic men may feel they have a right to be in charge, to be admired and showered with praise. In their arrogance, they may think they deserve special treatment.
2. Narcissistic men may have trouble empathizing with and dealing with the emotions of those around them. It is possible that they are too self-absorbed to notice when their partner or those around them are suffering.
3. Narcissistic men can have an inflated opinion of themselves. Guys with this trait may exaggerate their abilities or achievements and constantly seek approval and praise from others around them.
4. It is not uncommon for narcissistic men to be hostile or aggressive in their relationships. They may become defensive or angry if their activities are criticized, and they may act physically if they feel threatened.
5. Narcissistic guys may not be able to admit they are wrong. They may shift blame or apologize when questioned about their actions, and they may become defensive or dismissive when challenged about their behavior.
Louanne says that while both sexes may show similar characteristics, there are some significant differences in how narcissism affects men and women
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF NARCISSISM IN WOMEN?
1. A narcissistic lady can spend hours a day perfecting her physical appearance using cosmetics, hair styling and the latest fashion. It’s possible she’s fixated on always looking her best, which means she’s constantly thinking about how to improve her appearance.
2. A narcissistic woman’s need for approval and praise from others can push her to her limits. She may have a tendency to talk over others, interrupting them and ignoring their opinions.
3. A narcissistic woman can use her attractiveness and charisma to get her way. She might lie, manipulate, exaggerate, or otherwise deceive others to get what she wants.
4. Narcissistic women are prone to envy and jealousy, especially when they see other women as more beautiful, successful or loved than themselves. She could develop feelings of envy and resentment towards them as a result of their success.
5. They play the martyr or the victim and everything they have been through is more painful, harder and they have suffered more.
A narcissistic woman can use her attractiveness and charisma to get her way. She might lie, manipulate, exaggerate, or otherwise deceive others to get what she wants
“It’s important to note that not all men and women with narcissistic traits will engage in these behaviors, and there is a wide range of narcissistic behaviors that can affect people of any gender,” Louanne said.
“Understanding the differences between narcissistic men and narcissistic women, on the other hand, can help us better understand and address the specific challenges each gender may face in coping with this personality disorder.”
If you or someone you know needs support in a dangerous, violent, abusive or potentially abusive situation, please contact the National Sexual Violence, Family and Domestic Violence Advice Line for free and confidential telephone and online service.
Telephone: 1800RESPECT, or 1800 737 732, available 24/7.