Sex worker for mature men SAMANTHA X reveals why married men cheat

There are two things that I know men are very good at. The first is separating love and sex. And the second is lying.

I know why husbands cheat, I know what they secretly desire and I know what goes on in their heads.

How do I know? I am not a psychologist nor a woman. I prefer female company and I don’t have a partner.

If you don’t know my story, here it is. I was a journalist for national magazines before leaving my ‘normal life’ to become an escort in my late thirties. Not the decision most people make when looking for a change, but it suited me, for many complex reasons that even I have a hard time understanding.

I wrote two best-selling books about my journey and eventually ran my own escort agency for mature women.

My busiest lady was over 60 – but that’s another section.

I’ve hung up heels lately, but I’ve spent ten years in the adult industry. I charged a lot for my time and was called Australia’s most expensive escort (as well as a few other things).

I’ve met many wonderful women and I’ve come to understand men, all types of men. Single, widowed, divorced, young, old, disabled, sick… and of course married men.

Ah, married men.

If there’s one thing married men have taught me, it’s not to get married. If you want to ruin a great relationship, walk down the aisle. (If you are happily married, good for you. Come back to me in 30 years).

What I also learned was that the sex industry wasn’t about sex. And the main reason why men saw escorts?

Link. That’s right, connection.

As an escort, I wasn’t swinging chandeliers or going to secret sex clubs in dungeons (disappointing, I know). The most requested service was the girlfriend experience – and that meant listening, supporting and guiding.

Here are my top three reasons why men cheat, with three disclaimers: not all men, not all marriages, and it’s never your fault.

Goff (above) has been with a significant number of married men in her previous profession

1. Someone to talk to

Believe it or not, men like to talk. They are emotional and extremely vulnerable. They tell me they are too scared to be vulnerable at home, and instead feel they have to be the “strong one”. They’re afraid that if they nag about their problems, they’d cause you unnecessary stress. Why they chose to pay thousands of dollars to an escort instead of going to a counselor baffled even me and have pointed this out multiple times. “I don’t want to be judged,” was always the answer.

2. They miss foreplay.

You don’t have to tell me that sex is the last thing on your mind when you’re married — I get it. I’d rather have a cup of tea these days and I’m supposed to be a lady of fun. There’s a lot to be said for the two-minute quickie. But men secretly want to spend hours in bed with you, but say they got tired of being rejected. They miss the foreplay (pleasuring you instead of the other way around) and they don’t always want it all to be over before you can say “hand me the TV controls, MAFS is on.”

3. You had an affair.

When it comes to cheating, we always blame men. They’re the ones who always cheat, right? Wrong – they are the ones who get caught. A married man in his late 50s sat on the bed fully clothed for two hours reeling over his wife who had just left with her personal trainer. Another man was shocked after his wife left him and their children. He tearfully told me he didn’t even know how to boil an egg. (Don’t ask me, I’m not a good cook). While a woman turns a blind eye to her husband’s mistake, men do not. Their ego won’t allow it. If they stay (and men rarely leave), they’ll see that as a green light to do what they want, so you’re “quit.”

4. Seeing an escort doesn’t mean they don’t love you

4) I know I said 3, but this is also an important point. It also doesn’t mean seeing other women or having affairs. They don’t want to leave you for another woman, and they certainly don’t want to run off with an escort (and no escort in the history of this earth would ever want to run off with your husband – that’s the same as your work home). Men are like puppies that chew on your shoes, they just can’t help themselves.

Wait for me to tell you why women see male escorts. That will blow your mind.

‘Samanatha X’ or Amanda Goff, is a former escort, author and columnist.

Amanda Goff has great advice for women on why men cheat (above)