Louanne Ward: Are men REALLY intimidated by ‘successful’ women when dating?
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Men have revealed how they really feel about dating a ‘successful’ career woman – and the exact traits that make a woman intimidating.
In a discussion on the popular ‘She said, He said’ Facebook page men agreed a woman’s salary, career, height, looks and attitude all contribute to how intimidating she is.
The post was started by relationship coach Louanne Ward who asked if men were intimidated by successful women, and if not what other traits might make them intimidating.
She also called on women to share their own stories of being labelled ‘too intimidating’ by potential lovers.
The post was kickstarted by relationship coach Louanne Ward who asked if men were intimidated by successful women, and if not what other traits might make them intimidating
While some men admitted they wouldn’t date an intimidating woman for the fear of ‘being second best’ others said they prefer the dominant qualities.
‘Nah quite the opposite for me. A high achiever is a must. What is intimidating is women who are violent or drink too much or on drugs,’ one said.
‘I’ve got no time to fix all that. Women who are healthy, with a sound mind can achieve as much as they like in my books and be as wild as they like in business, travel or adventure, just not violent or mentally unstable, else however much they’ve achieved, it’s worth nothing to me,’ one man said.
‘No! I live with one and it is fantastic,’ said another.
Another man said that as long as their partner was kind and there was chemistry the rest would be irrelevant.
While others said they appreciate successful women as long as they ‘respect’ the boundaries of the relationship.
‘As long as she is respectful and doesn’t try to wear the pants, and still wants to be a woman, non of these make the first move , alpha females,’ one man said.
‘As long as she has time for her man I don’t care,’ another added.
Some admitted to only dating people within the same social circles.
Louanne asked if a woman ‘earning more’ than a man would be an issue for either party
‘When I read this post I consider my self working class blue collar kinda fella . I know few woman who are considered very successful in their chosen pursuits careers . And if I wasn’t good friends with them most guys I knew would be intimidated even myself included maybe not open about it but yes kinda like punching above your status,’ he said.
One man said that one person’s dominance or level of success will only intimidate their partner if they are insecure about their own lives.
‘An obvious example is that a shorter guy may feel intimated by height (noting some shorter guys will not, as it’s a personal thing) but that is not caused by a lady being taller,’ he explained.
‘Tallness is not the issue, it’s the impact on the other partner. Same goes for a woman being more wealthy, or more career successful. Those are all positive things that are only problems if there is a degree of insecurity in the other party.
‘I suppose I’m saying we shouldn’t even suggest that being tall, successful, attractive, confident etc can ever be bad things. They just may be factors that don’t fit well with particular potential partners,’ he added.
And he wasn’t alone.
‘If we feel intimidated it’s on us! If they makes us feel intimidated it’s on them! Own your worth, show them what you can bring to their table financial status aside.. if that ain’t enough? Then they’re simply not worth your time,’ one woman said.
Women weighed in on the debate too with many claiming to have been brushed aside by potential suitors because they
‘One man once told me I would be perfect if I left half of my personality at home,’ one woman said.
‘This is so interesting to me because I used to get this a lot. Majority of nice, hard working, respectful men would tell me they were intimidated. But the few dropkicks I dated who I will confidently say were punching, never acted intimidated nor ever admitted it,’ another woman said.
In a poll on the Facebook Page 65 percent of men admitted a woman’s attitude made her intimidating, while 12 percent said beauty and financial success were most intimidating.
Three percent of men said they were intimidated by a taller woman while six percent said they had never been intimidated by a woman.