Mum who had ‘top surgery’ while identifying as transgender shares pain of being unable to breastfeed

A woman who had her breasts removed at age 20 when she identified as transgender shared her grief over not being able to breastfeed her baby.

Elizabeth, not her real name, underwent a chest masculinization mastectomy (commonly known as top surgery) after being formally diagnosed with gender dysphoria as a teenager.

But four years after having the controversial procedure, Elizabeth decided to stop transitioning before she got pregnant at 30.

‘It was really hard knowing that she wanted to breastfeed, and I couldn’t give it to her. And when they put him on my stomach, he crawled up. He was looking for my breasts and couldn’t find them,” he said.

Elizabeth has shared her story with researchers at the University of Western Sydney in Frontiers in Global Women’s Health in what is believed to be the first case study of its kind.

Research professor Karleen Gribble told Daily Mail Australia that Elizabeth’s story “may be the tip of the iceberg” and should serve as an early warning sign for others.

“It is a very serious matter to remove the breasts of young women and the ramifications for them in the future can be significant and if they have babies they will need support,” Professor Gribble said.

‘There must be greater respect for breastfeeding and its importance for women and children.

‘Once you have a mastectomy, there is no such thing as a reversal. This is an irreversible surgery, it should not be taken lightly.

Elizabeth claimed that the surgeon never discussed breastfeeding with her before the surgery.

I don’t think he would have been receptive. I would have felt insulted and said that it is triggering my gender dysphoria,” she said.

Elizabeth attributed her gender dysphoria to breast development at the age of 10, which led to her being sexually harassed by men.

She began identifying as a boy and wearing a sports bra to flatten her breasts, convinced her bodily discomfort stemmed from being transgender.

Elizabeth began hormone treatment after her diagnosis before undergoing ‘superior surgery’.

The doting mother hopes that sharing her experience will inform other young women facing similar issues and the greater impact of testosterone treatment on fertility.

“It makes me very sad that there are so many women, many of whom are girls today, who will not be able to have children of their own because they are being sterilized,” she said.

And I’m very frustrated that it’s taboo to talk about it. I speak because I want to spare expectant mothers and babies what I went through, if I can.’

Elizabeth said her conflict over whether she would be a ‘good’ mother led her to decide to make it impossible to become one entirely, to ‘take away the choice’.

Elizabeth’s surgery was a disaster, leaving her with an extensive scar.

Just wearing clothes was painful.

Elizabeth’s right nipple graft was chronically leaking, and voids in the scarred left nipple graft caused even greater problems.

Two years later she underwent further surgery to reduce the scarring, leaving her nippleless and still in pain.

Her transgender friends did not like her speaking negatively about her experience and refused to support her.

Testosterone-induced vaginal atrophy and rejection by her transgender friends led to a psychological breakdown and detransition at age 24.

Elizabeth’s desire to have a baby grew and despite taking testosterone she became pregnant at the age of 30.

The new mother was desperate to be able to breastfeed her baby, but knew that surgery had made that impossible.

Elizabeth talked to a midwife about her desire to obtain donor milk, hoping to ease her guilt and grief over not being able to breastfeed her son.

However, the midwife had no experience with breastless women and was dismissive, telling Elizabeth to ‘just formula feed’.

Extremely distraught, Elizabeth turned to an obstetrician, but he did not understand that she had missed the transition.

The doctor referred to Elizabeth as a man, which confused and scared her.

Elizabeth suspected that the doctor thought she was a mentally ill trans woman who mistakenly believed she was pregnant.

The obstetrician’s lack of understanding led him to report Elizabeth to child protection agencies, who persecuted her after the birth of her baby.

When her son was born by caesarean section, he was placed on her chest.

“He tried to suck on my chin and spent a lot of time in his early life trying to find my breasts.”

Because she had gestational diabetes, Elizabeth was able to obtain milk from a milk bank, which led to further feelings of guilt.

Elizabeth now aims to help other women going through pregnancy to avoid the problems and pain that she suffered.

She also hopes to educate women about breastfeeding complications after mastectomies of the chest.

Professor Gribble urged caution with surgeries performed on minors.

“There is not a good evidence base for surgery of this type, especially in children,” he said.

Their concern was backed by the developers of the ‘Dutch protocol’, which treats boys with gender dysphoria with drugs to stop puberty and then cross-sex hormones.

In research presented to the World Professional Association for Transgender Health last year, it was revealed that one in four people said they were sorry that gender transition had left them infertile.

Another 21 percent said they were too young, such as preteens or teens, when they embarked on the medical transition.

But the Australian Professional Association for Trans Health (AusPATH) stated on its website that the evidence was well established that most trans people do not regret affirming their gender.

Access to medical gender affirmation can save lives and improve the quality of life for those seeking it, she said.

The Victoria’s Royal Children’s Hospital Gender Clinic treats children up to the age of 16 before referring them to adult services at the Monash Gender Clinic, which does perform superior surgery.

The Royal Children’s Hospital did not say how many children it treated each year.