Couples therapist Dee Tozer: Why you should celebrate Valentine’s Day
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The VERY surprising characteristics of the love life of ALL unhappy couples: “They have no interest in this and it is alarming”
- Australian couples coach Dee Tozer has worked with over 5,000 couples.
- Melbourne therapist says all couples should celebrate Valentine’s Day
- She claims that those who don’t are likely to be unhappy in their relationship.
An Australian couples therapist says celebrating Valentine’s Day could save your relationship in the future.
Dee Tozer, from Melbourne, who has more than 30 years’ experience, says that of the 5,000 struggling couples she has worked with, almost all had no interest in celebrating the day.
Between her sessions with clients, she has noted four common reasons couples choose not to recognize the annual day.
‘It is my responsibility, and a personal investment, to check in with my partners at 12 months and two years after working with me. Ninety-four percent (without cheating), 96 percent, after cheating, report doing well and haven’t looked back,” says Dr. Tozer. Mama Mia.
Dee Tozer (pictured, centre), from Melbourne, who has over 30 years’ experience, says that of the 5,000 couples she has worked with, almost all had no interest in celebrating Valentine’s Day.
While many believe that Valentine’s Day is now over-commercialized and used as a ploy to make money, the day dates back to the fifth-century Romans, but it wasn’t linked to romance until the 14th century.
Some couples may believe that love should be celebrated every day and not limited to a single day of the year, when cards, chocolates and roses go up in price.
But those who don’t recognize the day also risk feeling left out.
Dr. Tozer also believes that Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for couples to focus on their relationship and celebrate their love.
“Sometimes I compare a relationship to a merry-go-round, it’s fun but it loses its excitement with every turn. It’s easy to lose sight of why they got on the ride in the first place,” she said.
‘The priority of taking time to surrender to the love of the other is diluted to the point that not celebrating that love becomes the norm.’
Couples with children often have little to no time for themselves, let alone romance; they usually focus all their energy on the children’s schedules.
Juggling work, kids, family, social activities, playing sports, parents can be exhausted by the end of the week.
Valentine’s Day gives couples an excuse to get a babysitter, go out to dinner, and spoil each other.
Dr. Tozer believes that Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for couples to focus on their relationship and celebrate their love. “Sometimes I compare a relationship to a merry-go-round, it’s fun but it loses its excitement with every turn. It’s easy to lose sight of why they got on the ride in the first place,” he said (file image)
Dr. Tozer says she has heard several complaints from men and women about how they act in response to common misconceptions.
For example, some may argue that Valentine’s Day is about the husband’s wife-hunting, when the day should be about celebrating the relationship in its entirety.
Dr. Tozer says she’s heard men complain that they bought their partner flowers and gifts without even getting a thank you in return, while women may believe their partner just wants sex.