My family forced us to change our plan to have a child-free wedding

A husband-to-be has revealed how his life is being torn apart by a dispute between his fiancée and her family over their ‘childless’ wedding.

Taking to the breeding platform momsnetThe British groom explained that “all hell broke loose” when he told his family that children are not invited to his wedding, because his brother and two sisters have young children.

He admitted that his mother had “refused to go to the wedding”, and that his relations with his family are at an all time low, while his future wife refuses to let him talk to his family about the wedding.

Many were quick to comment with some people stating that I should “leave her” because she sounds controlling, while others said they had been “bullied” by her family and needed to back off.

He explained the awkward situation in the post: ‘Getting married in 5 months and my fiancée hates my family, she’s ruining everything.

“We had a dream wedding planned since we were young in Portugal, when we expressed our plans to my family and that our wedding would be child free, all hell broke loose.

“My mother said I wouldn’t come, my other family members said I was silly and stupid and I should rethink as my brother and two sisters have very young children, all under three.”

“We want a child-free wedding and I gave them lots of options and offered to pay for other family members to come babysit for the six hours of the wedding. It all fell on deaf ears.

Taking to parenting platform Mumsnet, the anonymous groom explained that “all hell broke loose” when he told his family their wedding would be “kid-free.”

“This led us to change everything and now we are getting married alone abroad and throwing a party in the UK for the family.

“Now my future wife feels like my mom ruined the time of her life and she will never get this back, something she has always dreamed of and that my family ruined for her.”

He continued: ‘She has so much anger towards my family and even though my family has said I’m sorry and they’d make it work, it was already ruined for us.

“I have explained to my family everything I feel, how they have made us feel and what they have done and ruined.”

He continued: “I told them to just not talk about the wedding coming up and to try to move on as it really ruined the relationship.”

Many took to the comments to tell him to ‘throw away’ his fiancée as it doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship.

Now I am arguing every day with my partner and my relationship with my family is at its lowest, I feel like I really have no choice but to be a punching bag for everyone to express how they feel.

‘If I talk to my family, my partner gets angry because it’s always related to the wedding, if I don’t talk to my family, the relationship gets worse.

‘My partner now hates that I talk to my family, he wants to know every conversation I have with them, even if it’s on the phone, I have to explain what was said.

“My mom still talks to me about the wedding party three or four times a week to try to feel involved and make things easier and it’s making my partner mad and I told her to stop talking about it.”

“To the point where if I get a text from my family it will ruin our whole day as my partner thinks they are trying to get involved and she doesn’t want them to get involved or talk about her wedding.”

He said he doesn’t want my mother to be allowed to talk about the wedding too.

It has reached a really low point and I have no idea what to do as I am now stuck in the middle, does my partner need to calm down and realize that I could lose my entire family over this and work together to fix it? Or does my family need to step back and realize they’ve screwed everything up and give us space for now?’

Many were quick to comment to tell him to ‘throw away’ his fiancée because it doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship.

One person said: ‘You can’t marry her. She is crazy.

Another wrote: ‘Is this what you want for the rest of your life? Either isolated from his family, or in constant conflict with his wife.

‘If you think it’s bad now, just wait until you have kids (if that’s the plan). I would honestly walk away at this point. You can see the kind of person he is. The irrationality, anger and resentment of which he is capable. No, thanks. Bye.’

However, some people disagreed, saying they think his family “have been acting like spoiled brats.”

Another wrote: ‘Think twice about the kind of life you’re going to have with a spouse who demands you report the exact conversation you have or had with someone.

“That shows a level of insecurity and a need for control that can become very difficult over time.

“In the excitement of the upcoming wedding, you’ll probably ignore these signs, but the day will come when you realize exactly what you’re doing. Ironically, it’s probably going to be your family that you turn to at that point.”

However, some people disagreed, saying they think his family “have been acting like spoiled brats.”

One person wrote: “I’m going to go against the grain and say I don’t blame your fiancée at all for being extremely upset that the dream wedding she’s always envisioned got canceled because your family threw her toys out of the stroller and stamped their collective feet until that they got away with it.

Presumably none of her family will be in attendance at the scaled-down overseas ceremony now and they’re all attending the UK party, so no one is left out?

Meanwhile, others have admitted that they think both his fiancée and his family need to change the way they act.

‘I appreciate that childless weddings are a pain for some, but it was what YOU wanted! Your family have been acting like spoiled brats, frankly they’ve totally bullied you into doing what they want.

‘That said, her anger isn’t helping and she’s starting to sound very controlling wanting to monitor your texts.

“But then again, I don’t blame her for getting frustrated that your mum is suddenly all over the UK party like a rash when it’s not the wedding celebration SHE wants or dreamed of. I think I would be furious too and struggling to contain my feelings.

“I don’t know how you salvage this, short of canceling the UK party and going back to plan A. I’m so sorry to get you caught in the middle, OP.”

While others admitted that they think both his fiancée and his family need to change the way they act.

One person said: ‘Both. Your fiancé needs to back off and forgive, but your family also needs to realize that they have gotten angry, upset your partner, and need to reconcile to allow things to start to heal.

Another said: ‘Hmm, I’m a bit hesitant, both sides have been a bit controlling.

‘When you say my mum still talks to me about the wedding party 3/4 times a week to try to feel involved and make things easier, is she making things easier with general conversation/happy for both of us, or is she ‘ do you need to do this/do you need to invite XYZ?’