I’m An Etiquette Expert – These Are Basic Tips On How To Conduct Yourself In A Formal Dining Setting

An etiquette expert has revealed her top tips on how you should conduct yourself when it comes to formal dining in British and Western settings.

Lucy Challenger, 39, based in London and Berkshire, is the founder and CEO of Mayfair luxury agency Polo and Tweed, which is seeking employees for super-rich clients.

She is also TikTok and instagram creator, and has earned more than 12.6 million likes for her videos that teach Generation Z social media users the essential manners and etiquette they need to fit in with the upper echelons of society.

In a recent videohe addressed introductory etiquette advice, explaining “how one should conduct oneself in a formal dining room, particularly in British or Western settings”.

She said: ‘Firstly we need to think about our elbows, don’t stick them out as you will usually end up interfering with the guest next to you.

So while you eat, keep your elbows close to your body, as that is a polite way to do it.

‘Secondly, with our elbows, we never rest them on the table. This is considered pretty rude…instead, your arms can rest on the side of the table, on either side of the plate, or of course, perfectly in your lap.

She explained that the reason for this is that in medieval times, tables were unstable, and if too many people put their elbows on them, the table would collapse.

Although the furniture now has a more solid structure, according to Lucy, “the common principle and etiquette still holds.”

This led to another key point: Putting your elbows on the table can affect your digestion, according to Lucy.

She continued: ‘So whenever possible I recommend sitting at the front of the chair with your feet flat on the floor.

Crossing your legs is never recommended as it is not good for hip stability and back position.

‘However, [keep you] feet flat or crossed at the ankles if you prefer. Of course we have a backup.

“So if you have to use it for some postural aspect, or because it’s a particularly long dinner and you want to relax at some point, then by all means use the back of the chair.”

According to Lucy (pictured), it’s important to be respectful of cultural etiquette – you should follow your host’s lead if you have any questions.

However, he said you should “slide back on the chair back, to stay as upright as possible and not squeeze your stomach.”

His next piece of advice concerned something much more delicate. As the etiquette expert said, “keep your air to a minimum.”

She explained: ‘Band by that, I mean don’t burp, don’t fart, don’t yell, try to keep bodily functions to a minimum, or at least walk away and go to the bathroom to do what you need to do.’

Lucy said it’s okay to use the back of your seat, but if you do, you need to stay as upright as possible. [so not to] compress your stomach’

When it comes to more general advice, he said it’s important to be respectful of cultural etiquette, adding that if in doubt, follow the host as “he’ll set the overall tone and etiquette for the dining experience.”

She continued: “Be respectful of the diners around you, keep conversation polite, and if the conversation starts to heat up, perhaps over a topic that gets a little awkward, try to walk away from this conversation.”

You want to respect people’s opinions and try to have a nice polite evening. So having a big discussion with someone is not necessarily recommended.

Lucy concluded: “Think about the people next to you, but also think about the people in front of you, as this will allow you to have a great conversation and be fully inclusive of those around you.”

Lucy has made a variety of videos on etiquette topics, including tongue-in-cheek clips on eating certain foods like Pot Noodles and Kit Kats.