My mother-in-law won’t stop buying me food since I announced my pregnancy – it’s all cheap stuff

A woman has sparked a debate online after complaining that her mother-in-law has constantly asked her for food since she announced her pregnancy.

publish in momsnetThe anonymous mother-to-be, from the UK, explained how she has tried to turn down shopping bags in the past.

However, the mother-in-law would simply sneak them into the back seat of her partner’s car.

The woman explained: ‘THOUSAND [Mother-in-Law] has always bought [my husband] and her brother’s food since they both moved away.

‘My brother-in-law stopped my mother-in-law years ago (other than when she offers him high-end steak/meat) but my husband still takes the occasional bag when she insists.

‘[My husband] he tries to refuse these bags, but sometimes he puts them in the back seat.

Over the years, the couple have joked that their mother is playing Ready Steady Cook because of the weird and wonderful items she gives them.

She explained, “Usually it’s a bag of microwaveable cookies/cakes/bread/rice/fries with the occasional newly released burger/seasoned meat.”

However, her mother-in-law’s behavior has started to make her nervous since the woman announced her pregnancy.

She continued: “Now what I feel a little annoyed, if not a little offended, is that ever since we announced we’re pregnant, she’s been sending food for both of us.”

Hinting that she wants him to start eating more protein, the mother-in-law has been sending bags of items from Asda’s Essential range, including sausages, chicken thighs, ham wafer and mashed potatoes.

The woman added: “Very often she says I’m too much of a health freak (because I’ve ordered pasta/vegetarian meals) and ‘she ate everything while she was pregnant.’

“She knows that I care what goes into my body, I’m not a big meat eater and I enjoy cooking.”

As such, the mother-to-be says she doesn’t need to rely on ‘handouts’ as she and her husband have ‘good salaries’.

She wrote: ‘Buying us all these Asda Essentials only came after we announced we’re pregnant.

“It’s also very inconvenient as we plan meals/do the weekly grocery therefore we are left eating a meal that we don’t particularly want to eat or unfortunately it goes to waste.

“I’ve tried to be polite to MIL by saying we don’t have room in our fridge/freezer or we don’t go straight home/there’s no need since we make our own shops.”

However, this did not go over well with the mother-in-law, who said that the mother-to-be “did not appreciate” her efforts.

Posing the dilemma to other forum members, the woman concluded: “Am I being unreasonable because, as a pregnant professional, I’m not exactly jumping for joy at the bottom end of chicken thighs in an unlabeled freezer bag that needed to be food? that day?’

Many agreed with the sign that says food is going to waste and her mother-in-law needs to stop.

One person wrote: ‘You need to tell him so he understands that the food he’s giving you isn’t really necessary. It’s a shame if the food goes to waste.

‘She doesn’t see that you wouldn’t want to eat the value range? She must have some idea about the quality of food that you would normally buy.

Another said: ‘Food banks don’t want fresh food that needs to be refrigerated, especially when it comes without its original packaging and may not be safe! Even if they did, OP has a full time job and is pregnant. Why and how should she carve out time to get to the food bank to deliver it?

‘MIL is being weird. OP’s partner needs to have a frank conversation with her. They appreciate that you are kind, but it would be better to save your money and buy something for the baby.

“If you are concerned that OP needs to eat meat for her health and that of the baby, you could point her to the NHS advice on diet for pregnant women and reassure her that OP’s iron levels are fine.”

While someone else said, ‘Tell him to stop, he has to throw a lot of food in the trash while planning meals and he has his own tastes in food. She won’t stop any other way and she will give you more when you have the baby.

‘If she says you don’t appreciate it, then agree with her and say it’s because you’re an adult who likes to choose her own food, but thanks for thinking of us!’

Meanwhile, others thought the original poster was being ‘ungrateful’ and ‘rude’ by not wanting to accept the food.

One person wrote: ‘Let’s talk about turning a mountain into an OP from a molehill. I also agree that he comes across as spoiled, snobby, and ungrateful.

While another said: ‘How ungrateful. My own mother used to give me some purchases when my children were little, just to help us out.

‘I do the same with my son (41 with 2 children). Every time I see him, I give him things from the closet/freezer. Yesterday he went home with rice, pasta, sausage, cheese, chicken nuggets, and apples.

While a third wrote: ‘It sounds like she’s trying to be nice and you’ve been kind of horrible about it. Stop fighting with her and leave it in her hands and hers son of hers. He can decide what to do with the chicken thighs.

Others suggested that the cartel should take the items to a food bank if they don’t want them.

One person wrote: ‘I suggest you make sure your DH is on the side, he might secretly like it!

‘Then join Olio and give it to them there, or to a local food bank. Her love language is not one you appreciate, but she’s not going to stop, so she uses it in a way that others can benefit.’

Another said: ‘YANBU from the appearance of waste. I would look for a soup kitchen…lots of churches are running warm spaces with hot meals for their communities here in the UK.

‘Then you can simply take the bag that MIL gives directly to that church or other community center as a donation. They’d be happy with some of that tbh.

While someone else wrote: ‘Okay, so you don’t want it. Someone else will. Donate it to a food bank.