Psychologist reveals why people ‘always’ look for evidence that their partner is going to leave them

A psychologist has revealed why some people in relationships tend to look for reasons why their partner is leaving them.

Dr. Nicole LePeraof Philadelphia, has earned more than 6.1 million followers for her work on healing the inner self and understanding why emotional intimacy is important.

“Many of us are constantly looking for evidence that our partner will abandon us or hurt us in some way,” began his viral. Twitter thread.

“When we are anxiously attached, we struggle to feel secure within our relationships. We are obsessed with: what our partner is thinking, doing or how they can hurt us. Our fear is that they will abandon us.

People with anxious attachment styles are overly concerned with their partner’s feelings and emotions and tend to be needy in relationships.

They often want to be around other people, but worry that others may not want the same.

“While we fear abandonment, on a deep unconscious level, we actually fear emotional intimacy,” Dr. LePera revealed.

While that could be for a variety of reasons, the psychologist provided an example of emotional closeness during childhood that is often relegated to being embarrassed or made fun of, severely punished, or emotionally abandoned, as with the silent treatment.

‘To truly be seen, heard and witnessed creates fear (and sometimes even fear or panic). This is where sabotage patterns come in. We are afraid of intimacy, so we engage in intimacy-blocking behaviors. Also known as self protection.

A psychologist has revealed why some people in relationships tend to look for reasons why their partner is going to leave them

The psychologist also revealed that a lack of authentic emotional intimacy results in a constant need for reassurance that one is safe and loved.

“Our partner’s mood or emotions dictate our own emotional state,” she said. ‘We are fine only if our partner is fine. And what our partner feels for us becomes what we feel for ourselves.’

She added: ‘Our well-being depends on the emotional state of someone outside of us. This feels like riding an emotional roller coaster.

This anxious attachment style can often cause people to choose partners who are equally emotionally damaged and unavailable, which can create an even deeper fear of abandonment.

People with anxious attachment styles are overly concerned with their partner’s feelings and emotions and tend to be needy in relationships.

Thousands thanked Dr. LePera for simply breaking such a complicated cycle of emotional turmoil and shared their own experiences with relationship anxiety.

“This thread gave me an epiphany as to why I’ve always felt this way,” one woman wrote. “I love the parts about how subconsciously we fear intimacy, and then because of that, we end up too shocked by other people’s moods.”

Another added: ‘This is very spot on. We live this cycle for the first 20 years of our marriage. Patience and maturity have led to happier days in the last 15 years.’