My friend tricked her husband into having children

By William On Dec 23, 2022

A mother has divided opinion by asking if she could get rid of a friend for complaining about her emotionally distant husband, who was tricked into having two children.

Leading to the UK Parents Forum momsnetthe woman asked if it is unreasonable to feel that her friend who ‘sabotaged her own birth control twice’ has ‘made up her own bed’.

She explains that she finds it hard to sympathize when her friend, whom she’s known since school, complains about her husband, who works full-time and supports the family, because he has “zero interest” in the children.

Commenters criticized the woman, calling her actions “disgusting” and “misleading,” but others said her friend should have been more loyal by not starting the thread in the first place.

A woman turned to Mumsnet after her friend complained about the absence of her husband and father, but only after she ‘sabotaged’ her own birth control (file image)

Explaining the situation, the woman wrote: ‘I have an old friend from school who has been complaining that her partner doesn’t care about her children at all.

‘She is a stay at home mom and her partner works full time and has a well paying job. He pays the bills and everything she and the kids need, but she complains that he isn’t emotionally present with them. She doesn’t spend time with them or help at all with childcare.

“Normally I would have a low opinion of a man who can’t be such a jerk to spend time with his children, and it’s a shame for the children. But it’s so hard to be understanding with my friend. I feel like she made her own bed with this situation.

A woman posted on Mumsnet about her friend, saying she feels little sympathy for her when she complains about her husband’s absence while she is home with the kids.

She explained that her friend had lived with her partner for a year and knew that he had “no interest” in having children when she announced her pregnancy.

“She later told me that she knew her partner wouldn’t want to start a family, so she stopped taking the pill without telling him,” the woman explained.

He stays with her but becomes somewhat emotionally distant, I guess he was in shock. Friend was sure he would change his mind once her baby arrived.

Many said they would not feel sorry for the friend in the situation, calling her “deceitful” and “selfish.”

“After the baby is born, he just isn’t interested, but she has a lot of support from the family. Nothing changes for a couple of years and she then announces that she is expecting her second child. I congratulate her, again I am surprised, she had no idea that they were trying.

“Then he confides in me that he sabotaged birth control again, this time the condoms they were using.”

The woman said she made her disapproval clear, but her friend was upset, saying she had no choice because her son needed a brother.

“I accidentally drop the subject to be the idiot that makes my pregnant friend cry, even though I think it’s bullshit.”

The Mumsnet user wondered if she was a “terrible friend” for having “little sympathy” for the situation, adding that she feels sorry for children who will grow up with an emotionally distant parent.

Others said they did not have much sympathy for their friend’s partner, even though he had been cheated on, saying he still needed to take responsibility for his children.

She continued: “Anyway, she now has two children and is complaining about how her partner has just become emotionally disconnected, not only with her children but with her as well.”

“He’s not interested in intimacy and is just going through the motions. It seems like their relationship is going well and he’s really headed for the rocks this time.

‘I find it so hard to be sympathetic to her, I mean what did she expect to happen?

“Although I’m obviously very sad for the two children facing growing up with an emotionally distant father…

Meanwhile, people called out the poster for being “spiteful” and questioned how good of a friend she really was.

‘Am I a terrible friend for not liking her?

I’m really struggling to stay friends with her knowing what I know, I feel like I’ve lost respect for her. Although it’s hard to end the friendship because we’ve known each other for a long time.’

One commenter said: ‘Your friend did a truly horrible thing by cheating on her husband.

“Ultimately, there is no excuse for a parent not to care about their children, but your friend also has a responsibility to create this situation.” I think striving to stay friends is a totally normal response.

Another raged: ‘I don’t blame you for not wanting to be friends, she made her own bed.

‘Although there is no excuse for not being part of your children’s lives! But I’m sure she’s made her own bed here.

However, others fired up the original poster: One called her “spiteful,” while others said that if you’ve been friends for a long time, you should think twice before ending the relationship, even if you don’t approve.

“If you’re friends with someone you can’t be happy with the situation they’re in, and maybe totally disapprove of it, but the friendship part is where you hate to see them unhappy and be there to listen,” one wrote.

Others said they didn’t feel very sorry for their friend’s husband, even though he had been cheated on.

“He created children so unless he didn’t know how it happens then they really are his responsibility as well,” wrote one.