CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: Miriam’s as full of Yuletide cheer as a debt collector with toothache
Miriam’s Dickensian Christmas
Qualification: **
i hate suzie too
Classification: ****
There is no shortage of tinsel presenters on holiday television who become Dermot O’Fairy-Lights, Holly Christmastree and Eggnogg Wallace.
You might think, who better than Miriam Margolyes, Professor Brussels Sprout herself, from the Harry Potter movies, to present a Dickensian Christmas (C4)?
Pretty much anyone, is the answer to that. Miriam is as full of Christmas cheer as a debt collector with a toothache. She went through the gift department of Fortnum & Mason’s, scoffing at the prices, then complained about the menu in a Victorian kitchen, and ended up in her own house, refusing to cook Christmas dinner.
She could have put on a silly seasonal sweater and looked like a Christmas pudding, but it wasn’t a chance. He didn’t even mention the connection to Sprout.
You might think, who better than Miriam Margolyes, Professor Brussels Sprout herself, from the Harry Potter movies, to present a Dickensian Christmas (C4)? Pretty much anyone, is the answer to that.
Miriam grew up in a Jewish home where her father refused to have a Christmas tree, and this unique filler was meant to chart her conversion from cantankerous Scrooge to laughing Pickwick. The producers made the mistake of assuming that because she seems like a sweet old lady, she must be a sweetheart at heart.
She was better behaved here, taking care of her language and her wind. But she will never be affectionate or benevolent. She’s about as Christmassy as a mousetrap in the bottom of your stocking.
His only concession to the Christmas atmosphere was his fondness for Dickens, and even then he preferred the political and campaign aspects of his novels to the bonhomie and good humor. Somehow, he was able to take advantage of his opposition to sending six-year-olds to the coal mines and make it flourish as a virtue signaling device.
Like soccer pundit Gary Neville, Miriam seems to think that her disapproval of child slavery makes her morally superior to the rest of us. Actually, she disapproves of everything. ‘The thing that irritates me about Christmas is the hypocrisy,’ she complained, ‘people buy gifts for people they don’t like with money they don’t have.’
Building a head of steam, like an over-boiled pudding, he continued: ‘Does it need to be that expensive? It feels like we’re being pressured to spend more than we can afford on some obscene spending extravaganza.
Billie Piper is equal parts heroine and grotesque in I Hate Suzie Too (Sky Atlantic), her dramatic comedy about an actress in crisis and overwhelmed by a poisonous divorce.
He then gathered a group of children to play with paper dolls in a Victorian toy theater, growling and yelling at them when they didn’t read his lines correctly the first time. Dickens could have created a hilarious character out of Miriam Margolyes. But she would have been one of his gallery of grotesques, decidedly not his hero.
Billie Piper is equal parts heroine and grotesque in I Hate Suzie Too (Sky Atlantic), her dramatic comedy about an actress in crisis and overwhelmed by a poisonous divorce. Surrounding almost her autobiography, she plays a twice-married former pop star whose fame peaked for her when she starred in a sci-fi series.
Suzie repeatedly earns our sympathy and then squanders it with reckless and self-destructive outbursts during drunkenness and drugs. There are parallels to Sheridan Smith’s Rosie Malloy Gives Up Everything, but this show is more bitter and vicious.
It’s also all too intent on skewering the shallow, manipulative world of entertainment. Many characters, like the self-pitying soccer star (Blake Harrison) or the brutal showbiz agent (Anastasia Hille), are stereotypes.
Parody of reality shows like The Masked Dancer, with Billie doing a manic mime routine like David Bowie on LSD, is a widespread inside joke.
Writer Lucy Prebble is the best in the war between Suzie and her ex, who are fighting for custody of their disabled son. Those scenes are outstanding.
Tails Wagging at Night: On a frozen lake in his Alaskan Adventure (C4), George Clarke tried dog sledding, just like Gordon Buchanan did on the BBC over the weekend. Smart guys! While the rest of us fume over the train and bus strikes, they have transportation.