A moment that changed me: I went to Kew Gardens – and found a place of safety after homelessness and drug addiction

I spent the early 2000s at my parents’ home in West London, caring for my elderly father. When he died, in February 2015, I lost my home. When you’re on the street, you have to sleep with one eye open in case people try to steal your stuff, so you end up being alert 24 hours a day. The effect of such a life means that you often seek distraction and soon I started spending time with other homeless people who drank and took drugs. I started smoking crack and heroin and drinking heavily. My days all started looking the same: trying to stay warm, getting into shelters, eating, and scoring the next bite.

When Covid hit in early 2020, things became very difficult: people were getting sick on the streets and it sometimes felt like we had been abandoned. I was eventually moved to a hotel room in Putney during the lockdowns and while there I started working with a housing charity, who got me a flat in Mortlake, Richmond upon Thames. In September 2021, I was finally off the streets and I knew that meant I had to get clean too or my house would become a crack den.

I detoxed, went to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and came across a charity called Shepherd’s starthat helps vulnerable people connect with the local community. Being so early in my recovery I needed something to keep me occupied and something to look forward to, so I signed up for their six week course to learn some new skills.

The course included a trip to Kew Gardens to learn more about gardening. I was nervous about going because I wasn’t sure what people would think of me, but on a sunny day in October 2021, I walked through the gates and immediately felt like I was in another world. I was taken to the allotment with the group and met one of the staff, Jane, who showed me around the gardens as we passed a tulip tree.

As I looked at the tree, the Latin name for the plant came to mind: Liriodendron Tulipifera. My past life began to flow back to me. I remembered how my first job after leaving university was as a gardener and my mother had worked in the finance office in Kew. As I walked past other shrubs and plants, more names came to mind and I began to feel calm and safe for the first time in six years.

Since I lived on the streets day in and day out, I had forgotten my old life, because you have no room to think about anything other than what is in front of you. But seeing the majestic 250-year-old tree connected me to my own roots. My world expanded.

I told Jane what had happened and she encouraged me to come back the next week to help with the assignment. I started coming in every Wednesday to pot up plants, remove worms and prepare seedlings for the greenhouse. I knew I couldn’t get drunk or high, so it was a great focus for my sobriety, and I soon started to really enjoy planting something and watching it grow, knowing that it was my care that made it remained alive.

After a few months I asked if I could become a permanent volunteer and it was a great honor to be accepted by Jane and wear a Kew uniform. In the three years since, my life has completely changed – every week I look forward to my time at Kew, in the allotment or watering the plants. I have been growing food for the community, which gives me a huge sense of pride, and every other week we work with adults with learning disabilities. It’s great to see them laughing as they dig or water the plants.

People from all walks of life volunteer alongside me, including those who have also been homeless or addicted, as well as those with mental health issues or family trauma. We have formed a close-knit group who all support each other, with Jane as our mentor and friend.

Even when I was on the street, I always told myself that I was sad, but I was not outside; that things would get better. I feel so lucky to have found Kew as my therapy and safe space. I can see life as it should be right now and I just want to take it day by day, always trying to get better and stay fulfilled.