I lost my husband but gained the perfect wife: She’s an incredible cook and the kids love her… she’s the best part of my divorce, SHAPPI KHORSANDI reveals

After carefully placing the homemade gravy and stuffing on the Christmas table, my ‘wife-in-law’ went back to the kitchen to grab a jug of Bisto and a second tray of stuffing, this time without mushrooms, both prepared for my 11 year old daughter.

Nothing is too much trouble for Corry, my ex-husband’s second wife – I call her my wife-in-law for lack of a better name to describe her relationship with me – who, as she does every year, prepared the most amazing three-course meal for our group of ten.

I was instructed by my ex, fellow comedian Christian Reilly, to avoid the kitchen where Corry likes to have free rein. So while the rest of us played Boggle and drank wine, she made prawn cocktails for a starter, a roast turkey dinner and several puddings. Planning for this celebration began in September. Preparation for the Christmas pudding, cakes and mince pies started weeks ago.

While some divorcees, chained together because of the children, struggle to manage their relationship with their ex’s new partner, I consider myself very fortunate to have lost a man but gained the perfect woman, since Corry and Christian got together in 2015.

Although she never wanted her own children, Corry’s devotion to my children and, therefore, to me – the woman who drops them off or picks them up several times a week – knows no bounds.

I know that if I leave them with her, they will be taken care of just as well as I was. If I’m honest, it’s better when it comes to food.

I feel more than a twinge of jealousy when I glance at the hearty dinners listed on the meal planning board in her kitchen because, being me, I spend most evenings pouring boiling water over pasta while wondering what I for heaven’s sake will do. serve with it.

My son, Cassius, 17, and daughter, Vivie, stay with Corry and Christian every Monday and when I’m on tour outside the South East. They live ten minutes away from me in West London, which equates to an average of two evenings a week.

Cassius was nine when Corry arrived on the scene and Vivie – my child from a later relationship, not Christian’s daughter – was five when she came to stay too.

I used to go pick Vivie up as soon as she woke up, for both me and her sake, because I missed her.

Corry was a comedy producer, but has not been working for a few years due to a chronic condition. I knew her for a long time before she and Christian got together.

The comedy world is small, so I saw Corry several times a year, at shows and festivals, and liked her. His previous girlfriend was less interested in combining family life, which put a strain on our relationship as co-parents.

Corry, on the other hand, is incredibly family-friendly and gives my kids almost her undivided attention for healthy activities like knitting and baking, which I rarely have time for. Her specialties are Scottish shortbread and chocolate brownies.

It’s all in stark contrast to the chaos in our house – I was diagnosed late with ADHD, so my daily life has always been a bit of a whirlwind. I continually combine public appearances and speaking engagements with writing books and am also studying for an MSc in Psychotherapy.

The many hours Corry spends with Vivie mean she knows everything about her great passions, from her favorite author to the Squishy toy she wants most. So every Christmas and birthday I see my daughter’s face light up when she opens her presents from Corry and Christian.

Vivie has had a special bear, Michael, since she was a baby. Corry has found an identical copy to live in their home for when Vivie comes to visit. Every time she stays, Vivie comes home with the most beautiful braided hair. I’m not sure where I was when these skills were handed out to women, but her stepmother was at the front of the line.

Corry and I are not friends, more like family members, although not officially of course. But we do spend important moments together, such as Christmas and the children’s birthdays

One of my fondest memories, as one of only about 20 guests at their intimate 2022 wedding, is watching Cassius, then 14, walk Corry down the aisle to where Christian was waiting.

The children loved her from the start. She asked me everything they liked and didn’t like so she could make everything “just right.” Instead of a second mother, I’d say they see her as an adored aunt.

My marriage to Christian only lasted three years and because I was well aware at the time of how incompatible he and I had been, any jealousy I felt was directed at him, not at Corry. I mean, who wouldn’t want to come home to one of her delicious stews and a big Corry hug?

Now that he is seventeen, Cassius is in a phase, whether it is with me or with his father, when he is in his room or with friends. Still, he benefits from Corry’s wisdom when it comes to homework and talks to her about what’s on his mind. He also has those conversations with me, but it’s nice to know that Corry intervenes when I’m not there.

Rather than resenting their bond, I really appreciate that my kids have someone who loves them enough to take algebra.

The important role Corry plays in all our lives is perhaps all the more remarkable considering that Vivie was born a few years after Christian and I separated and is not his biological daughter, although he has always been a wonderful father figure to her. Her father and I separated before she was born, and Vivie never met him.

She was only two when Christian and Corry got together and it was so sweet for her when, a few years later, they offered to take her along when Cassius came to stay.

Some mothers may be jealous that their children are so close to their stepmother, but I am very confident in my relationship with my children.

When they were younger, at the very beginning of our blended family, I noticed that Corry would stay upstairs when I arrived to pick them up. I remember asking them: ‘Does Corry go to bed when she knows I’m coming over?’ and honest as children often are, they said, ‘Yes, sometimes.’

I wasn’t offended – I understand why she might not always have the bandwidth to deal with me, if I’m honest. I’m talking from ten to tens.

Corry and I are not friends, more like family members, although not officially of course. We don’t meet in the pub for prosecco nights or girls’ weekends away.

But we do spend important moments together, such as Christmas and the children’s birthdays.

Our motley crew for dinner yesterday – which Corry prepared and served at my house (it’s easier for us to eat here because I have dogs) – included Christian’s father, my partner, the comedian Mark Steel, and two of our mutual friends, plus one of their daughters. I have no doubt that it was a reflection of what was happening in blended families, more or less harmoniously, across the country.

I have no idea what Christian thinks about the bond I have with Corry, but Mark knows how important it is that when I’m at work, my children are with someone who loves them so much.

My children’s experience with their stepmother has nothing in common with the Snow White stereotype. There may have been times – when I am most absent-minded, late with the children, without gym kits for the next day – when Corry has been tempted to feed me a poisoned apple. However, to my children, she will always be the perfect fairy godmother.

÷Scatter Brain: How I Finally Got Off the ADHD Rollercoaster and Became the Owner of a Very Neat Sock Drawer from Shaparak Khorsandi is published by Vermillion. Shappi will be on tour from January to July. For dates and tickets visit: https://shappi.co.uk/comedian/live-dates