8 homeless moms in San Francisco struggled for help. Now, they’re learning to advocate for others
SAN FRANCISCO — They have chronic back pain from couch surfing during pregnancy. They put their children in the back of cars and under bridges at bedtime. Once their children are asleep, and only then, they let themselves cry.
Since January, a group of eight San Francisco mothers have been meeting regularly as part of a local nonprofit’s pilot program to share their stories and learn how to advocate for the needs of families like theirs. experiencing homelessness.
“I feel like I have failed my children,” said Teniah Tercero, breaking down in tears as she explained how she hated exposing her three young daughters to the city’s open drug use. gritty tenderloin neighborhood where they sleep in a shelter.
The room falls silent. Christiana Porter, a fellow mother, gently pats Tercero on the shoulder as someone else points to a box of tissues.
“I know the feeling,” said Danica Gutierrez, also a mother of three girls.
Gutierrez, 29, was skeptical about telling the most difficult moments of her life to strangers.
“Once I got into the group, I started to realize that all these ladies have a strong voice,” she said, “and maybe together our voices can be strong enough to make a difference in someone else’s life. ”
The women are part of the Family Advisory Committee, a program started this year by San Francisco nonprofit Compass Family Services to empower homeless people to better meet their needs.
They learned how the city’s budget process works and met with politicians, sharing personal experiences and insights into what the city’s Homelessness and Supportive Housing Department and nonprofits should provide.
Overall, the women describe a homeless shelter system that is confusing and even hostile, with websites that lack clear information and staff who can be dismissive.
They want housing for families away from those struggling with drug addiction or behavioral health issues, and staff trained to welcome homeless families. They say more money should be spent on housing instead of temporary shelters.
They also want families to receive clear instructions on which phone numbers to call and when to keep their place in line for housing. They want caseworkers to answer their calls even when there is no new information to report. They suggest nonprofits stock practical goods such as rain covers for strollers and children’s clothing for special occasions like graduation.
By telling their stories to help others, the women have found a welcome sisterhood.
Some in the group have experienced domestic violence. A mother recently arrived in San Francisco from Nicaragua and, with her husband, watched over their 9-year-old daughter as the family slept outside under blankets and on cardboard. A third-generation San Francisco resident sleeps on a pull-out couch in her parents’ living room.
Their search is for a safe, stable home in a city where the average monthly rent is $3,300 and the average price of a home is $1.4 million.
Three years ago, Gutierrez and her daughters slept on floor mats in a school gym that doubled as a shelter. She now lives in a subsidized apartment with three bedrooms and a roof terrace in a building with childcare and case management on site.
The younger girls, 7 and 8, share a cheerful bedroom filled with library books and art supplies, while their sister, 11, has her own room. In the small kitchen, Gutierrez has written “good morning, little ones” on a chalkboard. One wall of her bedroom is covered with her girls’ high school diplomas.
But the neighbors near the “permanent supportive housing” location are people struggling with addictions and mental illness, and she feels like her family is not safe.
“I just hope it touches the hearts of the politicians a little bit,” she says.
For years, tent camps Made up mostly of adults without children who often used illegal drugs and blocked sidewalks, it dominated the national debate about people living on the streets. The issue reached the U.S. Supreme Court, which ruled on Friday that cities can ban homeless people sleeping outside in public places.
But family homelessness is rising due to migration and an uneven recovery from the pandemic as COVID-era benefits and government protections against evictions expire.
A federal count found more than 50,000 families with at least one adult and one child experiencing homelessness in 2023. The 186,000 adults with children in those families is up 16% from the year before, according to a one-night count by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. Most of the growth was attributed to New York, where migrants The city of New York shelters.
More than 25,500 homeless adults with children were counted in California, including about 600 in San Francisco. The city has 400 family spaces that can accommodate about 750 people, many in private rooms.
By mid-June, more than 500 families were on San Francisco’s waiting lists for emergency shelter and hotel vouchers.
“Babies can’t wait,” says Porter, 34, an eyebrow stylist with statement braids.
She fell behind on rent during the pandemic, worked multiple, low-paying jobs with five children and limited childcare assistance.
Jennifer Johnson, 38, grew up homeless and thought she had left that life. She then lost her job as a real estate office manager at the start of the pandemic, and her apartment when her landlord decided to sell.
Johnson, an aspiring chef, crashed with family and friends when she became pregnant with her first child. When Johnson, who now has two boys, 1 and 3, finally asked for help, she was told her situation wasn’t dire enough for housing.
“Those in power need to see how this works,” she said, “and how it affects people.”
Staff turnover in shelters is high due to burnout and low wages. There are not enough beds or rooms to house everyone in need, let alone ensure that homeless families are kept separated from other adults with substance abuse or other problems.
In late May, the women came to City Hall for 30-minute meetings with members of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Despite a testy conversation with an attendant that ended in tears, they declared it a success.
San Francisco Mayor London Breed has pledged $50 million to expand emergency shelter and housing for families, “an unprecedented level of resources,” said Compass’ Hope Chamber, which is working with the city to implement some of the women’s suggestions.
Albert Townsend of the National Alliance to End Homelessness works to prepare people who share their stories for leadership roles where they can have more impact.
“You have more hearts, hands and minds at the table,” he said.
Tercero, who was walking around bleary-eyed from her night shift in a public restroom the other afternoon, pushed back a tire swing as her daughters Amairany, 8, Rojelia, 7, and Valentina, 4, laughed.
They have lived in many different places, from motel rooms to the red Dodge Durango they have used as their home. It’s cozy with Mickey Mouse sunglasses on the rear windows and the dash painted with red nail polish.
The city can help families by investing in places that feel like home instead of shelters that can be dangerous and burdensome, with rules and reprimands about signing up for meals and curfews, Tercero said. A place, she said, where “you can feel like a human being, a mother instead of a prisoner.”